eternal summer slacking.

Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy.mp3

Talk about gangsta shit of catastrophic proportions. This is that good stuff right here. At first it might not seem like anything special, but that semi-awkward melody in the chorus will get stuck in your head and will not leave. It's semi-awkward cause it's actually pretty hard to sing, especially the third 'hey jealous-yyyy', when you're walking around town humming it to yourself you'll realize that you are pretty much tone deaf and devoid of any god given musical capabilities. True story.

The topic matter is pretty straightforward, I think about a quarter of songs written are about how person A fucked up a relationship with person B. And since they're 1) white folks, and 2) not Dipset, they take the rather sentimental route and ponder 'what if?' for 3 and a half minutes. No matter, this is not sappy in any way. It is more of an acknowledgement to what was and what could have been if not for those wonderful instances of self-destructive behavior. And really, who can't relate to that?

11/10

T.I. - 99 Problems (Lil' Flip diss).mp3

I don't even know why the King wastes his breath on leprechaun rejects like Flip. I guess Tip just needs something to do in his free time. Flowing hard and smooth over Rick Rubin's 808 drums, T.I. does not let up on the Clover G, threatening and having a general ball kicking down the holes in his opponent's street credibility. 'Lyrically I'll murk you/physically I'll hurt you/you ain't never ran the streets/you had a curfew'. True as with all diss tracks, the shit talking at the end is undoubtedly better than the actual song. The shock in Tip's voice when he speaks on Flip's 'audacity' to mention his name is straight up fucking hilarious. 'Fuckboy' Flip needs to just let it go, the throne is taken, the King is crowned.

7/10

Lily Allen - Little Things.mp3

(Not to be confused with the horrible Good Charlotte song of the same name.)

This chick is going/went through the whole internet blog hype machine which basically swagger jacks NME's whole 'lift them up, then tear them down' schtick and speeds it up so it happens all within a week. Regardless of what everybody thinks, this song is not bad, especially if you're a chick. Lily Allen is a rapper/singer/musician from the UK and she tells some good stories over sappy samples and drum machines. Lyrically this is the female rendition of Hey Jealousy. Same topic matter, done totally differently of course. It's much more personal as rap allows for much more detail to be said into each couplet and verse. Generally this kind of stuff sucks, as the whole reminiscing vibe is not my steez, but this song is ok for the first 3 listens or so. Then it just starts getting annoying. Maybe it's just cause I don't have a vag.

4/10

the motherland.

word to everything.

all day, everyday.

jesus might say 'jesus christ!'

can't touch this.

Fishin' buddies no more. Much to me and big lo's dismay, I do not get cable here in hong kong so i have not been watching any mavs ball.

I purchased what is possibly one of the greatest t-shirts of all time yesterday. The problem is that I had to lay down 40 bucks for it, even though asian people have no idea whatsoever why the Hammer shirt is awesome. This includes my mom who gave me dirty looks for spending 40 bucks on a stupid t-shirt. Good thing her opinion regarding these things mean absolutely nothing. Next on the list: shiny leather sneakers and a nigger smurf.

word to everything.

certified gangster.

Good emerges triumphant over evil. Now what you know about that?

can't leave rap alone, the game needs me.

Hov x Phish?!

A true testament to the Jigga man's greatness. Whiteboy stoners worldwide, throw your diamonds up.

music video review.

random new music videos go under my intense and rigorous quality control test.
all my findings are scientifically discovered and are not to be questioned under any circumstances.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous



Yep, she's hot. The song itself is not bad, Timbaland comes with a nice beat. I like the synths around the chorus, it turns it into a semi new wave thing. Swagger jackin' from Depeche Mode is ok by me if you have Ms. Furtado dancing around singing about hooking up.

9/10

Taking Back Sunday - MakeDameSure



No. The Foo Fighters, a much better band, has already done this video (compare them yourself). There's seriously nothing original about this band. Random clips of nature thrown in with the singer swinging a mic around wearing spandex netting on his hands is not cool. And please give the backup singer guy a mic so he doesn't look retarded yelling into air. I know it's a video and they're not really singing anyways, but still.

0/10

the evolution of a pimp.

"It's been a first round of surprises and so I go with my biggest individual surprise: Luke Walton. He probably wouldn't start for any coach in the league besides Phil Jackson, but he's as important to what the Lakers are doing to control the tempo against Phoenix as Kobe or Lamar Odom. And he tied up Steve Nash in the most controversial play of the playoffs so far, setting up the wildest of numerous wild finishes. Luke is the poster boy for this script-shredding Round 1."

- Marc Stein (via ESPN)

The Beastmaster finally gets his props. Word.

sugar, water and of course, purple.

here's a slice of gullyness from the golden age of music:

the urge - too much stereo.mp3

Big Lo accused them of "trying to turn that Barenaked Ladies song into an entire style of music." That's as accurate as anything I can come up with. It's also 500 times better than anything out right now. (again, save for that Natasha Bedingfield song).

compare and contrast:

barenaked ladies - one week.mp3

PS - is it me or is Raja Bell a bitch? I'm all for hard fouls but you can't just clothesline somebody. I guess it's that special brand of defense that only comes from south of the border. i think thats where hes from anyways. Raja? gotta be.

flyer than a motherfuckin' pelican.

Just look at Dirk son the hell out of that ginger. Big Lo predicts Mavs over Pistons in 5. And from the looks of it, he could be right. I don't see any other team sweeping anybody in the first round. Not the Spurs. Not the Pistons. To be honest, none of them want it with that German athletic freak. They don't want to see Dirk unleash his best Sam Cassell impression after draining fadeaway 3 after fadeaway 3. Without squaring his shoulders, no less!

Despite having the best playoff record so far this year, and having the number one all around performer post-season, the Mavs are still largely ignored and overlooked. I'm loving the Lakers right now, but even MVP don't want it with us.

Elsewhere:
It looks like LA vs. LA for the semi finals. That should be one hell of a show. Home court advantage every game. Can somebody explain to me why LA has 2 basketball teams anyways?

One last thing - Behold: the Beastmaster's uniform. Just $175 for a slice of greatness? I've never found a better bargain. (via Team LA)

heartbreaker.

The footage speaks for itself.

The best part? It's nothin' to him.

"Once I got the ball, I just took my time and got the look I wanted. I have taken that shot over and over and over again. It felt routine to me. " (via SI.com)

Premiere heartbreaker in the NBA.
_________________________________________________________

Not to mention, the Spurs get a beat down more painful than listening to Ron Artest's album. Great day indeed.

mean muggin.

this is definitely the gulliest NBA playoffs i have ever seen. the entire weekend has been amazing for basketball. the Mavs letting it almost slip away before waking up and regaining their dignity by keep the Grizzlies' playoff losing streak alive.

Dirk mean mugged his way out of embarrassment by taking a huge shit on the city of Memphis with his game-tying 3.



Giving Dirk a run for gulliest-white-boy is none other than the Beastmaster himself: Luke Walton. With the entire Lakers team stepping their game up, Luke Walton has exceeded all expectations. Especially with the last play, getting a jump ball against Nash, and tipping it directly to the real MVP for the game winning buzzer, Luke Walton tames the untamable. Stud.

hey ma.

Did anybody else know that Nelly Furtado is this hot? All I remember is that she had that annoying song about how she was like a pigeon or peacock or something. (no homo.)

I do know that Natasha Bedingfield song is pretty much perfect. (definitely better than the Taking Back Sunday album.) And apparently Ms. Bedingfield has been swagger jacking Nelly Furtado's steez as female pop songwriter extraordinaire.

I say they should just make out. A DVD of that bundled with each album will fly off the shelves. Even thieves teenagers will pay for that.

hate it or love it.

Kobe decided to express his feelings regarding the recent MVP decision by face fucking the Great White Hope.

bands today are worse off than they have ever been.

this makes me feel old as fuck all, but it has to be said: bands today suck. especially compared to bands of the past. even more so when put up against the golden era of music*.

case in point: Cartel - Wonderwall.mp3

I feel guilty to even put this up, as i would be plenty happy if it were not made at all. But I needed to make my point and this proves it better than any. This band is slightly above average in what they do: pop-punk. Given that extremely limited scope of power chords and syncopated strumming patterns, they do all right. Their songs are catchy enough and I did like Luckie St. and Honestly. Like every other band in their genre, all their songs sound around the same with some particularly bad.

They also have the creativty potential of an aborted fetus. So when that singer dude tries to change things up on the cover of The Greatest Song Of All Time, it sounds like absolute shit.

Example 1: when he decides to put his own 'creative' spin on the melody on 'about you' in the pre-chorus.

Example 2: the entire second verse and pre-chorus he butchers. i think they call this nonsense 'putting your own spin' on something. that is complete and utter bullshit. this emo, girl-pant-wearing son of a bitch totally ruined an otherwise perfect song.

If Noel weren't too busy cashing royalty checks, he'd smack the fag. Oh yea: his voice. That voice more than anything ruined the song. Weak and quivering, he sounds like a chick. Liam Gallagher sounded like a man, giving the song exactly what it needed to rise above the sap.

I hope Cartel's tour bus runs off a cliff for this blasphemy.

*mid to late 90's

To save yourselves, here's how it should be, from the geniuses themselves:

i welcome you to get acquainted with the youngest in charge.

I will admit it. I slept on Lebron James. Don't really know how, I Just wasn't into sports as a whole at the time. Wasn't up on anything sports related in general, all my NBA knowledge ended with the Jordan era. So I slept on this man. Actually, a man is an understatement. Dude is pure unadulterated athletic machine. No ego either, just confidence. The best part about his post-season debut today wasn't even the ridiculous triple-double. The shots and scoring don't hurt, but they were expected. The most impressive part of his game is how dude can make all those around him better. He involves them, gives them second chances, doesn't kick them to the curb like he can. I'm sure everyone knows, but once again: he's only 21. Twenty one. Dude was just legally allowed to drink. He's got so much more time to grow, I can't even imagine how much better he can get. Sky's the limit.

Welcome to the King James era.

Bonus: The Office's Michael Scott delivers an anecdote on the importance of education.



P.S. - Everybody is generally allotted one genius idea a day, give or take a couple. I got one: pay-per-view One on One competitions between the top in the game of basketball. Imagine Kobe taking Lebron one on one, first to 50 pts. There could be a whole bracket set up to determine the single best player when all that pesky passing shit is taken out. It'd allow these athletic beasts to indulge in their own narcissism. And despite my current level of amazement for Lebron, Kobe would take all. Don't argue with me on that one, not that it's even up for debate.

thoughts.

-that Natasha Bedingfield song 'Unwritten' > the entire new Taking Back Sunday album.

-Kobe is MVP. Lakers over Suns in 6, my upset prediction for the playoffs.

-RIP DC++, now there's really no point to living on campus anymore.

-Camel Lights are not very good. Turkish Golds still the way to go.

-gambling for 9 hours till 7 in the morning is a good time.

-Vans Slip-ons are the best shoes in the world, especially the Marc Jacobs suede joints.

Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now album review

I was barely aware of this CD's existence as I am past that horrible stage. I mean, why listen to this shit and be a 'sucker for love', as Cam would call it, when you can listen to Dipset and treat 'a bitch like a bitch' (again, my hats go off to Killa). But I digress, apparently kids still appreciate this stuff, and I will admit their last two albums came at the right time where I could actually connect to it. Hell, I know two kids who drove 3-4 hours to go see these guys live. Anyways, I will be reviewing this live, typing as I listen to these songs for the first time or so.

What It Feels Like To Be A Ghost

Second song by this band with the word 'ghost' in it. Pretty good opening riff. Sounds like everything else they have ever written. TBS is especially talented in turning run of the mill phrases like 'are you up for this?' into emo quotables by repeating them over and over and over and over and over and over. Look out for that one to be on AIM profiles everywhere pretty soon. Solid opening track.

Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

'Addict for dramatic'. I couldn't word it better. This dude is really obssessed with 26 days. Probably waiting for his AIDS test results to come back or something. (no homo.) Kinda sounds like the last song. Weird noises during the bridge, maybe its supposed to symbolize something, just sounds stupid.

MakeDamnSure

The new single. Since I'm in college and don't own a car nor a TV, I have no idea if this is doing well on radio. It again sounds like all their other songs. I don't know how they pick their singles. Probably just pick out of a hat or something. Decent enough, definitely not as good as the last lead off single nor Cut From The Team, but that's a classic.

Up Against (Blackout)

The song's in 6/8. I generally don't like 6/8 songs. The trend doesn't change much with this one. Filler, despite sounding again like the previous 3 songs.

My Blue Heaven

I'm sick of listening to this shit already. This one is again decent, starts off a little softer. The fat cholo that plays guitar uses 3 harmonic notes. How creative.

Twenty-Twenty Surgery

I could go for some General Tso's chicken right now. An eggroll too. (Magic Wok, what's really good?) And no, its not only cause I'm Chinese. Although that more than likely is part of the reason. I'm barely listening to this shit anymore.

Spin

I had a good discussion with Ricky, my giant ass friend at Mizzou, yesterday about how Japs are shit. People that want to argue about how the US was not justified in dropping the atom bomb on the Japs are most likely two things: 1) pussies and 2) jap/asian. I'd speak more on this but the song is over.

Divine Intervention

The acoustic song of the CD. They use bells on this. It's obviously a stretch for these guys to be this creative, so the melody is the exact same one they recycle on the other songs. You can't ask for too much.

Miami

Sad to say, this is not a cover of the Fresh Prince classic. That one is far superior. There is no need for this one to exist, I'm not sure why it does. Will Smith > Taking Back Sunday all day every day.

Error Operator

I didn't like this on the Fantastic Four soundtrack. I don't like it now. I hope I downloaded an unmixed copy or something, cause the drums sound like absolute shit on this. There's not even a real melody. At least the other ones were kind of catchy. I think this one is for the kids to run around in a circle and flail their arms around like Tom Delonge/retards.

I'll Let You Live

Finally it's over. The slower one, funny how that's the same place they stuck all the other slower ones on the other albums. This one really sucks. Shitty melody, shitty guitar riff. That fat cholo guy really can't play guitar. He had his shine on that Miami song.

Overall:

I'm so happy this CD is over, I can't stand this shit anymore. Granted, TBS did create the formula, but it is done to death. The whole tag-team vocals, phrase repetition, over dramatic performance is boring as hell to me. I probably would have liked this a year and a half ago. If you must listen to shit like this, go download Tell All Your Friends.

P.S. - Speaking of Tell All Your Friends, there's still kids out there on Purevolume that cover Cut From The Team acoustically, singing in whispered voices. You uncreative tools, the original fucking band already did that.

note - i realize i used the word 'shit' quite a bit in this review, even more than usual. i have a looming suspicion it has something to do with the quality of material i was reviewing.

it's ladies' night, all the girls drink for free.

especially if they look like that.

Let's analyze exactly what this girl is wearing:

-Grandma sweater (cardigan for you hipsters)
-80's spandex leggings or some kind of aerobics nonsense
-Poor people shoes

Maybe chicks find this shit cute or whatnot. But the general rule is if a girl not at least an 8 out of 10, then there is no room for her to be getting creative with the wardrobe. Some of the crazy thoughts that go through some girls' minds include viewing clothes as an 'extension of my character and personality'. An 8+, however, can actually get away with trying to 'express her individuality' through her clothes. It completely flips when a girl is both hot and has a 'unique' sense of style. Wearing a lot of 'weird shit', as most guys call it, can actually bump an 8 into a 9. Rare situation, I know. It does happen though.

On the other end of the spectrum, there's fat chicks. I'll let Juelz handle that:

Juelz Santana - Drop A Couple Pounds.mp3

Juelz Santana - Fat Bitch.mp3

And to round things off, here's an acoustic version of a song so good, I had to swagger jack some lyrics for the post title. Beware, it is what some might deem 'sad bastard music'. I think it's what the kids are into nowadays anyways.

Brand New - Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis (107.7 End Session 11-17-03).mp3