No emo bullshit here. This is created for my rhetoric class, which is good because it gives me incentive to back my shit up after talking all kinds of trash about teenage asian girls' xangas. This will most likely not be any better. Probably worse.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Best of 06

Best Single: What You Know by T.I.

Does anybody not like this song? The only possibly comparison would be the complete opposite of the Cowboys performance on Christmas.

Best Movie: Jackass Number 2

This is all I could come up with.

Best Lyric: '...and possibly bend you over' from Smack That

Akon is awesome. The earnestness in his voice as he sings about wanting to fuck a stripper is a feat not easily matched. Auto-tune+African accent+degrading come ons as legitimate pick up lines=ZOMGAWSUM!!!

Best Sports Moment: VY nutting all over the Trojans

Fact: 5 USC Songbirds were impregnated during the last heroic run by VY.

Best Discovery By Me: 24 = g00t

Who knew Kiefer Sutherland having The Worst Day Evar could result in such extreme gulliness? The show is also fantastic at showing the true sides of women in all their forms through the diverse female characters.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

cowboy starter jacket

Remember the ultimate in gangsta apparel back in the golden days of elementary school? The Starter Jacket was part of every kid's wardrobe, the cool ones at least. Back when kids wore their sports team on their back at all times, with no worries of what was 'fashionable'. I'm as guilty of this as anybody else, I know about clothes probably more than any random faggot off the street.

But the truth is, I think the Starter Jacket might be as valuable to the Cowboys success as anything else. Cause the last time I remember the America's Team held their rings in the sky, Starter Jackets were still popular. And then they got brushed to the side as they were deemed 'uncool' anymore. Look where that got us.

Coincidence? I think not.

Friday, December 08, 2006

bitch, i'm trill.

Of course everybody and their mother has seen this ad. But I think this piece of television genius makes me want to study advertising more than anything else. It single-handedly made me enjoy that e-40 song, which I had previously brushed off cause it was 'hyphy'.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

if there ever was a reason to believe in god...

Man, I really wish I didn't have to be cracked out on Adderall studying for tests, because I totally missed what was possibly the best television program of the year. There is some consolation for those who missed this hot-ness extravaganza like me, the Victoria's Secret website has an ultra HQ version up on their site. It's edited, but just play it on repeat. Over and over and over and over and over and over.

I know it's obvious and all, but these girls make every other human being look like pieces of shit. (This is excusing the bald-headed African of course.) I don't know why female celebrities would want to go to these shows because they can't help but make themselves look horrible.

Want to make your head explode? Try ranking them. Besides Adriana at numero uno of course. That's a given.

And speaking of god: apparently Jesus never committed a sin. It might not have been that hard in those days. For one, they didn't have women hot enough to make you want to kill yourself. And two, they were all made to wear shitty rags and cover themselves up and all that retarded ideology. Like Jesus could have really resisted himself from unleashing his divine power all up in Gisele's holy trinity.

the Queen.

Monday, December 04, 2006


Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late, but that KT Tunstall has some pretty good songs. Must be to get FOUR (count 'em) features on Grey's Anatomy. Anyways, I figure that must be the only way for artists nowadays to sell records. I mean, look at all those crazy ass shenanigans Jay-Z pulled and he only sold like 650k out the gate. And he's expected to drop significantly the second week, so he'll probably top out at around 1.5m.

KT Tunstall here on ther other hand has sold about a million of her debut. And I had barely heard of her. Little do I know, pretty much the only audience worth pandering to is the Grey's Anatomy one. Maybe the Jiggaman should start looking in that direction. Oh wait...

Saturday, December 02, 2006

the undisputed.

See for yourself (Google search for Worst Band In The World)

I do feel that Nickelback and Limp Bizkit could definitely give them a run for their money. Remember when Scott Stapp challenged Fred Durst to a boxing match?

If there's lyrics written worse than that emo bullshit where it goes 'i really really really dont like you', I'd love to know. That chorus completely sums up the genre and makes an extremely convincing argument that emo music is ruining the next generation of suburban kids for life.