coasting.

I'm going to venture out into the dangerous land of self indulgence and introspection for a second, so bear with me.

I've been awash in a sea of mediocrity for the longest time. Never great, never bad, never cared. It has always kind of bothered me, cause it's fucking boring. Not to mention I don't particularly like run of the mill things. Either kick ass or suck ass, middle ground breeds apathy. The sad fact is that most people are run of the mill. Maybe it's time to accept that fact and deal with it. Maybe it's time to get off my ass and 'reach my potential'. Both choices sound like shit. One sounds like settling and the other sounds like an infomercial for a 36 tape pack of motivational bullshit.

All successful people are driven, that's the uniting factor. Nobody successful lucked on to it completely. I just want to know how the hell people stay motivated at something. They must make up some fantastic bullshit about how hard work means they'll end up with puppies and white picket fences. And they must believe that is what will make them happy. And they have to believe that nonsense for their whole lives. That just seems delusional. Maybe that's the key to being successful in this world. You lie to yourself so much, that you start believing it.

Fuck everything I just wrote, I pretty much know what I want. Lots and lots of money. Like ridiculous amounts. God, being one of those old money blue blood rich asshole wasps must kick so much ass. You might have to wear yellow shorts with lobsters on it or something gay like that, but I'm willing to let that slide.

What a horrible post.

the second coming.

Most anticipated movie of 2006?

I'm willing to bet it'll at least be the best.

sexyback.

Yes, this is a woman who has had two kids.

note: Dog Problems isn't actually that bad. I guess I kind of like showtunes. No homo.

The Format - Dog Problems album review.

During this period of horrible music, I can safely say this is one of the very few albums I had been looking forward to. I thoroughly enjoyed Interventions & Lullabies, it was a very impressive piece of pop music. It was heavy on hooks, melodies and harmonies that stayed on repeat way after most songs should, yet it didn't feel unwelcomed at all. Not to mention I discovered it at the right time, where I could relate to the lyrics and themes presented. As I have said over and over again, that is not the case nowadays. However, because my days are so void of activity, I'll give this a spin.

Matches

I spot a banjo, harpsichord, piano, bells and snare rolls. I guess this is supposed to sound like a symphonic band or some shit. Not half bad, but I can't imagine myself singing along.

I'm Actual

This is in 6/8. I hate 6/8. This isn't very good, it's got some strings. Pretty hokey arrangement. No wonder their label dropped them. I'd be pissed off if I was supposed to somehow market this to 16 year olds.

Time Bomb

Halfway decent verses, closer to something on Interventions & Lullabies. Extremely mediocre chorus. I'm not a big fan of the bridge where Nate the singer starts yelping. I don't know what the fuck he is saying, but I do know he sounds like a bitch. Also not a fan of the 'are you worth it' part where he drags the melody way up there.

She Doesn't Get It

This is better, some synth, handclaps, doo doo doos, just straightforward pop. Can't say this will be memorable in any way though. Still better than everything that preceded it.

Pick Me Up

I guess the earlier tracks were a weedout process, because this is better than the last song. If this is the case, the last track must be almost half as good as Hey Jealousy (word to the Gin Blossoms).

Dog Problems

This sounds like a showtune. Why the fuck would you try to sound like a showtune. Swingtime piano with horns. I can't imagine myself repeating this one.

Oceans

Picks back up again from that last stupid attempt at 'expanding our musical horizons'. Pop tunes like this are what The Format excell at, although this song might be a little too sweet. The replay value is lowered because of that. It's like that Natasha Bedingfield song, it was awesome the first 50 times I heard it, but now I can't stand it anymore.

Dead End

Not paying attention.

Snails

Missed this too.

The Compromise

This is what the whole album should sound like. Word to everything this song kicks ass. The guitars, the vocals, everything. Nothing fancy, just good pop rock.

Inches and Failing

Did you guys know I sent a kid to a psychiatrist last year?

If Work Permits

Might be good, I donno.

Overall: 5/10?

Definitely not worth the 15 bucks I dropped on this, especially when Interventions and Lullabies is only 10 at Best Buy. Although I didn't pay nearly enough attention to it to really review it. Maybe I'll dig it up after I get all teh ghey over a chick again some time in the future. Probably not.

Q: you know how i know that you're gay?

A: you like coldplay.



word.

eternal summer slacking.

Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy.mp3

Talk about gangsta shit of catastrophic proportions. This is that good stuff right here. At first it might not seem like anything special, but that semi-awkward melody in the chorus will get stuck in your head and will not leave. It's semi-awkward cause it's actually pretty hard to sing, especially the third 'hey jealous-yyyy', when you're walking around town humming it to yourself you'll realize that you are pretty much tone deaf and devoid of any god given musical capabilities. True story.

The topic matter is pretty straightforward, I think about a quarter of songs written are about how person A fucked up a relationship with person B. And since they're 1) white folks, and 2) not Dipset, they take the rather sentimental route and ponder 'what if?' for 3 and a half minutes. No matter, this is not sappy in any way. It is more of an acknowledgement to what was and what could have been if not for those wonderful instances of self-destructive behavior. And really, who can't relate to that?

11/10

T.I. - 99 Problems (Lil' Flip diss).mp3

I don't even know why the King wastes his breath on leprechaun rejects like Flip. I guess Tip just needs something to do in his free time. Flowing hard and smooth over Rick Rubin's 808 drums, T.I. does not let up on the Clover G, threatening and having a general ball kicking down the holes in his opponent's street credibility. 'Lyrically I'll murk you/physically I'll hurt you/you ain't never ran the streets/you had a curfew'. True as with all diss tracks, the shit talking at the end is undoubtedly better than the actual song. The shock in Tip's voice when he speaks on Flip's 'audacity' to mention his name is straight up fucking hilarious. 'Fuckboy' Flip needs to just let it go, the throne is taken, the King is crowned.

7/10

Lily Allen - Little Things.mp3

(Not to be confused with the horrible Good Charlotte song of the same name.)

This chick is going/went through the whole internet blog hype machine which basically swagger jacks NME's whole 'lift them up, then tear them down' schtick and speeds it up so it happens all within a week. Regardless of what everybody thinks, this song is not bad, especially if you're a chick. Lily Allen is a rapper/singer/musician from the UK and she tells some good stories over sappy samples and drum machines. Lyrically this is the female rendition of Hey Jealousy. Same topic matter, done totally differently of course. It's much more personal as rap allows for much more detail to be said into each couplet and verse. Generally this kind of stuff sucks, as the whole reminiscing vibe is not my steez, but this song is ok for the first 3 listens or so. Then it just starts getting annoying. Maybe it's just cause I don't have a vag.

4/10

the motherland.

word to everything.

all day, everyday.

jesus might say 'jesus christ!'

can't touch this.

Fishin' buddies no more. Much to me and big lo's dismay, I do not get cable here in hong kong so i have not been watching any mavs ball.

I purchased what is possibly one of the greatest t-shirts of all time yesterday. The problem is that I had to lay down 40 bucks for it, even though asian people have no idea whatsoever why the Hammer shirt is awesome. This includes my mom who gave me dirty looks for spending 40 bucks on a stupid t-shirt. Good thing her opinion regarding these things mean absolutely nothing. Next on the list: shiny leather sneakers and a nigger smurf.

word to everything.

certified gangster.

Good emerges triumphant over evil. Now what you know about that?

can't leave rap alone, the game needs me.

Hov x Phish?!

A true testament to the Jigga man's greatness. Whiteboy stoners worldwide, throw your diamonds up.

music video review.

random new music videos go under my intense and rigorous quality control test.
all my findings are scientifically discovered and are not to be questioned under any circumstances.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous



Yep, she's hot. The song itself is not bad, Timbaland comes with a nice beat. I like the synths around the chorus, it turns it into a semi new wave thing. Swagger jackin' from Depeche Mode is ok by me if you have Ms. Furtado dancing around singing about hooking up.

9/10

Taking Back Sunday - MakeDameSure



No. The Foo Fighters, a much better band, has already done this video (compare them yourself). There's seriously nothing original about this band. Random clips of nature thrown in with the singer swinging a mic around wearing spandex netting on his hands is not cool. And please give the backup singer guy a mic so he doesn't look retarded yelling into air. I know it's a video and they're not really singing anyways, but still.

0/10

the evolution of a pimp.

"It's been a first round of surprises and so I go with my biggest individual surprise: Luke Walton. He probably wouldn't start for any coach in the league besides Phil Jackson, but he's as important to what the Lakers are doing to control the tempo against Phoenix as Kobe or Lamar Odom. And he tied up Steve Nash in the most controversial play of the playoffs so far, setting up the wildest of numerous wild finishes. Luke is the poster boy for this script-shredding Round 1."

- Marc Stein (via ESPN)

The Beastmaster finally gets his props. Word.

sugar, water and of course, purple.

here's a slice of gullyness from the golden age of music:

the urge - too much stereo.mp3

Big Lo accused them of "trying to turn that Barenaked Ladies song into an entire style of music." That's as accurate as anything I can come up with. It's also 500 times better than anything out right now. (again, save for that Natasha Bedingfield song).

compare and contrast:

barenaked ladies - one week.mp3

PS - is it me or is Raja Bell a bitch? I'm all for hard fouls but you can't just clothesline somebody. I guess it's that special brand of defense that only comes from south of the border. i think thats where hes from anyways. Raja? gotta be.

flyer than a motherfuckin' pelican.

Just look at Dirk son the hell out of that ginger. Big Lo predicts Mavs over Pistons in 5. And from the looks of it, he could be right. I don't see any other team sweeping anybody in the first round. Not the Spurs. Not the Pistons. To be honest, none of them want it with that German athletic freak. They don't want to see Dirk unleash his best Sam Cassell impression after draining fadeaway 3 after fadeaway 3. Without squaring his shoulders, no less!

Despite having the best playoff record so far this year, and having the number one all around performer post-season, the Mavs are still largely ignored and overlooked. I'm loving the Lakers right now, but even MVP don't want it with us.

Elsewhere:
It looks like LA vs. LA for the semi finals. That should be one hell of a show. Home court advantage every game. Can somebody explain to me why LA has 2 basketball teams anyways?

One last thing - Behold: the Beastmaster's uniform. Just $175 for a slice of greatness? I've never found a better bargain. (via Team LA)

heartbreaker.

The footage speaks for itself.

The best part? It's nothin' to him.

"Once I got the ball, I just took my time and got the look I wanted. I have taken that shot over and over and over again. It felt routine to me. " (via SI.com)

Premiere heartbreaker in the NBA.
_________________________________________________________

Not to mention, the Spurs get a beat down more painful than listening to Ron Artest's album. Great day indeed.

mean muggin.

this is definitely the gulliest NBA playoffs i have ever seen. the entire weekend has been amazing for basketball. the Mavs letting it almost slip away before waking up and regaining their dignity by keep the Grizzlies' playoff losing streak alive.

Dirk mean mugged his way out of embarrassment by taking a huge shit on the city of Memphis with his game-tying 3.



Giving Dirk a run for gulliest-white-boy is none other than the Beastmaster himself: Luke Walton. With the entire Lakers team stepping their game up, Luke Walton has exceeded all expectations. Especially with the last play, getting a jump ball against Nash, and tipping it directly to the real MVP for the game winning buzzer, Luke Walton tames the untamable. Stud.

hey ma.

Did anybody else know that Nelly Furtado is this hot? All I remember is that she had that annoying song about how she was like a pigeon or peacock or something. (no homo.)

I do know that Natasha Bedingfield song is pretty much perfect. (definitely better than the Taking Back Sunday album.) And apparently Ms. Bedingfield has been swagger jacking Nelly Furtado's steez as female pop songwriter extraordinaire.

I say they should just make out. A DVD of that bundled with each album will fly off the shelves. Even thieves teenagers will pay for that.

hate it or love it.

Kobe decided to express his feelings regarding the recent MVP decision by face fucking the Great White Hope.