Best of 06

Best Single: What You Know by T.I.

Does anybody not like this song? The only possibly comparison would be the complete opposite of the Cowboys performance on Christmas.

Best Movie: Jackass Number 2

This is all I could come up with.

Best Lyric: '...and possibly bend you over' from Smack That

Akon is awesome. The earnestness in his voice as he sings about wanting to fuck a stripper is a feat not easily matched. Auto-tune+African accent+degrading come ons as legitimate pick up lines=ZOMGAWSUM!!!

Best Sports Moment: VY nutting all over the Trojans

Fact: 5 USC Songbirds were impregnated during the last heroic run by VY.

Best Discovery By Me: 24 = g00t

Who knew Kiefer Sutherland having The Worst Day Evar could result in such extreme gulliness? The show is also fantastic at showing the true sides of women in all their forms through the diverse female characters.

HELLS YEAH.

Remember the ultimate in gangsta apparel back in the golden days of elementary school? The Starter Jacket was part of every kid's wardrobe, the cool ones at least. Back when kids wore their sports team on their back at all times, with no worries of what was 'fashionable'. I'm as guilty of this as anybody else, I know about clothes probably more than any random faggot off the street.

But the truth is, I think the Starter Jacket might be as valuable to the Cowboys success as anything else. Cause the last time I remember the America's Team held their rings in the sky, Starter Jackets were still popular. And then they got brushed to the side as they were deemed 'uncool' anymore. Look where that got us.

Coincidence? I think not.

bitch, i'm trill.

Of course everybody and their mother has seen this ad. But I think this piece of television genius makes me want to study advertising more than anything else. It single-handedly made me enjoy that e-40 song, which I had previously brushed off cause it was 'hyphy'.

if there ever was a reason to believe in god...

Man, I really wish I didn't have to be cracked out on Adderall studying for tests, because I totally missed what was possibly the best television program of the year. There is some consolation for those who missed this hot-ness extravaganza like me, the Victoria's Secret website has an ultra HQ version up on their site. It's edited, but just play it on repeat. Over and over and over and over and over and over.
(http://www2.victoriassecret.com/fashionshow/index.cfm)

I know it's obvious and all, but these girls make every other human being look like pieces of shit. (This is excusing the bald-headed African of course.) I don't know why female celebrities would want to go to these shows because they can't help but make themselves look horrible.

Want to make your head explode? Try ranking them. Besides Adriana at numero uno of course. That's a given.




And speaking of god: apparently Jesus never committed a sin. It might not have been that hard in those days. For one, they didn't have women hot enough to make you want to kill yourself. And two, they were all made to wear shitty rags and cover themselves up and all that retarded ideology. Like Jesus could have really resisted himself from unleashing his divine power all up in Gisele's holy trinity.



the Queen.

wooohoooo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late, but that KT Tunstall has some pretty good songs. Must be to get FOUR (count 'em) features on Grey's Anatomy. Anyways, I figure that must be the only way for artists nowadays to sell records. I mean, look at all those crazy ass shenanigans Jay-Z pulled and he only sold like 650k out the gate. And he's expected to drop significantly the second week, so he'll probably top out at around 1.5m.

KT Tunstall here on ther other hand has sold about a million of her debut. And I had barely heard of her. Little do I know, pretty much the only audience worth pandering to is the Grey's Anatomy one. Maybe the Jiggaman should start looking in that direction. Oh wait...

the undisputed.

See for yourself (Google search for Worst Band In The World)

I do feel that Nickelback and Limp Bizkit could definitely give them a run for their money. Remember when Scott Stapp challenged Fred Durst to a boxing match?

If there's lyrics written worse than that emo bullshit where it goes 'i really really really dont like you', I'd love to know. That chorus completely sums up the genre and makes an extremely convincing argument that emo music is ruining the next generation of suburban kids for life.

konichiwa, bitches.

What a stud. The pump fake gets them again.

Without a doubt, VY is most definitely

-VY's beastly performance also leads to one thing...

COWBOYS NUMERO UNO, BITCHES. YESSIR.

-I don't understand the big deal about Mike Vick flipping off Falcons fans. It's not his fault when the entire Falcons recieving corps dug deep within themselves to come up with TWO total catches and a big 52 yards. They dropped more than double the passes they caught for gain. And then old white guys bitch about Vick running and not throwing it well enough. People can boo him when he actually fucks up. And there's plenty of opportunities for that.

gem stones, flint stone, you could say i'm friends with fred.

Only Cam'ron is narcissistic enough to convince himself that he'd look good in a pink Russian fur hat.

Plus, the best music video interlude EVAR?! at 1:52

-also, how 'bout them Cowboys? t-Ro is gunslinger extraordinaire. now if only TO can hold onto the damn ball...

Kramer goes on a tirade against niggers.

Crack is a hell of a drug.

the truth.

tony romo is the future. 82% completion, what?

it is what it is.

gulliest headgear ever?

ching chang chong.

I recently read up on how Ivy League schools are now trying to cockblock chinaman from their schools by using higher admissions standards. Kinda like what they do to white folks, except even worse. And now, even crackers get a break from the onslaught of the slant-eyes.

Cracka-ass crackers everywhere have bitched and moaned about having less qualified african-americans (or in some circles, niggers) take their spots, jobs and all else due to affirmative action. I, for one, have always felt that whites should shut the fuck up. Being white is still the number one advantage you have in this country, and most parts of the world.

So for white folks to even think about complaining is ridiculous because if it's really so bad, wanna trade?

Didn't think so.

It seems that chinaman are getting shafted here. They don't get the easy slide of affirmative action like jigs do. They also don't get the power that derives from an inherently racist system and society like crackers do. So it's pretty much a lose-lose for the chanks.

Man, those white folks are some devious motherfuckers. But come on, who really thought those crusty crackers at the top of the ladder were going to let any other shades in the loop? Even if they did get there based on merit and by the rules, the rules will change. Those guys definitely do not want their pool muddied. Why do you think out of all the chinaman that work as engineers at TI making calculators and such, every single person on the board of directors is white than snow*?

That being said, it's still better than being a beaner. Boy, do they have it rough.

Check it: Is Admissions Higher for Asians at Elite Schools? (link to transcript of Wall Street Journal article, cause those jews make you pay)

also: New Challenge to Affirmative Action (Inside Higher Ed)

*there is one jig lady on there, but I think it's to look good. White people already feel really good about themselves whenever they can name off more than one of the colored as their friend, so this pretty much makes up for slavery.

insights.

Responsible for the best marketing move in music this year.

One of my favorite things to laugh at is adult contemporary music. You know what I'm talking about, the songs that play on the 'Mix' stations. Those stations kick ass, they'll play some gangsta ass shit like Hey Jealousy right after they play Semi-Charmed Life.

Seriously, that is a killer back to back combo. It's like the 90s never left.

Anyways, since these stations only add like 2 songs a year to their repertoire and pretty much never take a song off, it's the ultimate place a musician would want their song to go since the royalties are basically endless. Well, kind of. If money > artistic merit, then yeah. But seriously, whoever says no amount of money can buy their dignity hasn't been offered enough.

Artists who have been anointed into such a tightly controlled circle include musical masters such as the aforementioned Gin Blossoms and Third Eye Blind, as well as Maroon 5, Matchbox 20 and Rob Thomas, Natasha Bedingfield, Wham!, that guy who sings the 'Bad Day' song. Top notch group, I know.

The most recent addition is The Fray. When I first heard that song about overtime and some chick is in his head, I chuckled to myself in the car. Not because I'm too cool, but because I do have an affinity for future adult contemporary hits and this one was destined for soccer moms everywhere to sing along 6 months after the video was retired from TRL. As much as I laugh and make fun of music like this, I do have a good amount of respect for people that can bang out a couple of tunes that can get stuck in millions of people's heads and get paid for it. A good melody is a good melody, no matter how cliche and coated in reverb it is. After all, my favorite band is Oasis.

Which brings me to 'How To Save A Life', the second single from The Fray. This song sounds pretty much like the first single. I thought it was the same song until I waited for the overly drastic enunciation of the '8 sehkuuuuunds in ooooooooverteeeeiiiime' part and it never came. I brushed it off to the side and didn't pay much attetion to it until I caught the video on ABC. I was like huh? And then it became clear: it's a Grey's Anatomy tie in! Now it makes sense. Jesus Christ that was a smart move. I mean, get it? Sometimes girls will like totally want to bang a married man. You know, cause they're sluts. And they'll hype it all up and be like 'he's not happy in his relationship, I'll bring him out of it.' I'm going to save his life! So that fits in with the show's premise. But it doesn't stop there. They're also doctors! How fitting! Like OMG, it's like a double entendre or something.

I mean, what other way is this band truly going to get some money off a record about a crack addiction with the music industry in the shithole and a ginger for a lead singer? The only way possible is to play it up so that girls across the nation will think it's about them, via the tried and true medium of a shitty, sappy TV drama about self-important asshole doctors. I commend The Fray wholeheartedly for working that shit to its max potential. Street cred don't pay the bills. Plus in all honesty, it's a very well developed pop song and they seem to be able to play live very well, which is more than I can say for most mainstream music.

Read: 'Adult Contemporary Radio, Where Pop Hits Live Strong' (MTVnews)

But for real, I hate Grey's Anatomy.

half/half.

Talk about a pedigree: Daughter of Quincy Jones. Harvard graduate. Actress on the best show on network TV. And she's like really pretty.



Watch every episode of The Office here

nobody wins, one side just loses more slowly.

Two big things happened this week. The Democrats took over the House and Senate. Along with this major change in American politics, Donald Rumsfeld also got cut loose. Evil motherfucker that he is, I feel that's a pretty easy slide. He gets to fuck things up, then leave. Whoopdeedoo.

A lot of people are getting huge boners from this change in power. I'm not one of them. Politicians are politicians, the way the system is set up, they will still manipulate everything within their power to make themselves look good for the next election. (btw, if all they ever worry about is the next election, where do they find the time to do actual work for the people?) If it was up to these fucks, they would be responsible for every time you score above your league, every time you have perfect change, every time your professor cancels class. And they will deny until they die that they were the ones that didn't put up a fight to prevent the Iraq war from happening, that they were the ones chickenshit scared to go against Bush, that they were the ones that didn't do their fucking job.

Plus, I don't trust that Nancy Pelosi broad. I mean, she is a woman. And we all know bitches are crazy.

Aside from my politics rant, another major breakthrough happened: K-Fed got dumped. And it's on camera. Check it:



Hahahahahaha. I don't know who deserves some shit like that more, K-Fed or Rumsfeld.

the GOAT

Greatest commentator of all time?

There was a great bit in tonight's NBA on TNT (best sportscast show, bar none) where they listed the records of the hosts' post-championship season openers. Magic came up on top 4-1, Kenny was 2-0, and good ol' Chuck got a N/A. Hahahahahahaha. That's gold. It just further proves my case that Charles Barkley should be on every media venue possible. He should do color commentary for every sports broadcast, but that's a given. But let's not stop at sports. We could use Chuck's educated opinion on pretty much everything. Chuck as a judge on Project Runway? Sheeeeeiiiiiiit, that's good TV. Special correspondent for the Daily Show? The possibilites truly are endless.

And I think Chuck is running for governor in Alabama too. Please vote him in.

Oh yea, the Heat had to bite the curb tonight. 30 points in the first half? 66 for the game? I thought they were the fucking champs.

Lakers over the big, bad Suns too. Without the best scorer in the league. Yessir.

Mavs over Spurs by 12 on thursday.

+44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating album review.

My first favorite band ever, Blink 182 split up this year due to some beef between Mark and Tom. Probably cause Tom turned into what seems to be a complete douche bag. It's quite sad, really, cause they were one of the bands that seemed like they had the most fun doing what they did. That was always one of the biggest appeals of the band, the humor and the genuine interest in looking on the bright side and appreciating the fact that they get to be rock stars for a living. Anyways, here's Mark and Travis's new project, +44.

Lycanthrope

Continues in the same vein as the last Blink album, but not as experimental, for whatever thats worth. Straightforward pop rock. Really, if it wasn't for Mark's voice this could be any other band. Not particularly impressive, but not bad either.

Baby, Come On

Starts off with some computer drums and cut up 'whoosh' sounds. Kind of like the beginning of those Linkin Park songs. The chorus is catchy enough, but not really one to stick with you. He seems to still be writing about chicks even though hes like 34 and married.

When Your Heart Stops Beating

The first single. It's always important that the lead off batter is hits enough to get on base. This is the best song so far. Good melodies. Travis's drumming on the chorus is particularly awesome, the hi-hat sixteenths are a nice touch.

Little Death

Acoustic guitars are in this. Not that great of an idea especially cause the verses just sound stupid. The verse melodies go sour at the end of each couplet where it goes up for one note.

155

Probably going for some 80s Cure sounds. I like this one, the synths work well with the vocals. I still expect Tom to come in at any moment.

Lillian

Ehh.

Cliff Diving

All these songs sound the same. You could say the same about Blink, but those have nostalgic value and are better songs anyways. Mark is now just the 'old man in the club'.

Interlude

Not nearly as good as the one on the last Blink album. that thing was moody and dark. This just sounds like a 16 year old who just got his first copy of Frooty Loops.

Weatherman

Might be referring to the Nicholas Cage movie which wasn't very funny, except for the montage where he got pegged with fast food. I imagine throwing a chili dog at somebody's face must be a pretty satisfying action.

No It Isn't

This is the one about Blink. It's not bad, but still sounds like a 15 year old wrote it thanks to the endless use of cliche lines. You'd think something so monumental ending would inspire better lyrics. Otherwise, stronger effort than the last 3 tracks or so.

Make You Smile

Has a chick on it, I think that's what the original plan was, but she got knocked up or something like that so she quit. This isn't bad, more programmed drums in the verses and live in the chorus. The chick's voice is a nice change of pace from a whole album of Mark.

Chapter XII

This was a good weekend for football, no? Horns come back from 21, the 'Boys come back from 14. Solid effort by both, especially dual-threat Tony 'T-Ro' Romo (courtesy of Eric). The season isn't looking as bleak as I thought. The O-line did their job, kept Peppers limited. Most importantly Jason Witten got freed up from blocking duty for the Statue of Liberty and made some huge catches. Oh, and this song sounds like every other one.

Conclusion

Gone are the days of happy-go-lucky Blink. Which is to be expected, I guess, given how they're not named Blink 182 anymore. The fun songs are missing, these guys take themselves too seriously now. Obviously that was the problem that broke them up. They forgot they were just a bunch of dudes that lucked onto being rock stars. This album gets a 2/10 on the bbbbbaaaallllllliiiiiiiinnnn' meter.

random points.

fact: stephen colbert is the balls. reason why

-if there's a stronger case for legal abortions, please enlighten me. (via sterogum)

-the world's most comprehensive source on the Mighty Ducks (link)

-mtvU is pretty awesome. im actually sort of discovering new music. i've seen every video they have on current rotation. all the bases are covered, and going from regina spektor to lil wayne is exactly how my playlist works out.

-new clipse out 11/28. please let the crackers at jive play fair.

king amongst kings.

Yet another example of why Noel Gallagher is the most balla-ass balla ever. The Chief teams up with North England paper company middle management extraordinaire David Brent to release this double A-side (along with If You Don't Know Me By Now). Everything about this song is great. From the rawkin' power chords to the gay lyric situation in the bridge. Not to mention it sounds like a Boston song, which we all know would kick ass no matter the situation. There was really only one way for this song to end up: bbbbbbaaaaaaaalllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnn'!

For the sensitive souls, here's some more acoustic life lessons courtesy of David Brent:

bbbbaaaaallllllllliiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!

the most ballin' shoe evar?

check the stats: 1 of 1 in the entire world made for cool-guy guru Hiroshi Fujiwara, 100% real crocodile skin, Coach leather lining, 24k gold lace tips.

in honor of such ballin' activity, Jim Jones - We Fly High rmx (ft Diddy, Baby, T.I., Young Dro).mp3