i'm the juggernaut, biiiitch!

No emo bullshit here. This is created for my rhetoric class, which is good because it gives me incentive to back my shit up after talking all kinds of trash about teenage asian girls' xangas. This will most likely not be any better. Probably worse.

Allright, here we go:

In case any of you aren't up on your YouTube game, here's the funniest video you'll see today:




That'll be as good an introduction as any. Either way, I'm supposed to write two paragraphs to get that check mark next to my name. In my opinion, the juggernaut video is worth at least one paragraph, if not two.


Speaking of juggernauts, T.O. just signed to America's Team for a nice little 40 mil-4 year deal. (that's the Cowboys, for those not in the know) Getting paid 10 million bucks to run around and catch a ball is pretty sweet. But unlike the majority of all the other overpaid idiots who spend their whole life chasing around an inflated piece of leather for the enjoyment of the public, it can be argued that Owens is worth the cash.

First, like all true stars, he entertains me on the field AND off the field. I just figure it like this: if I'm going to be spending my time watching a guy get paid all this money to do something that he would be doing whether or not he was a pro, then I better be fully entertained at all times I see/hear/talk about him. All the true stars do that, no matter what type of work they're in.

Examples: Michael Jordan (best ever to rock handles? check, gulliest shoes ever? check, Space Jam? check), Oasis (best anthems ever? check, egos big enough to fill Knebworth? check, brother frontmen that talk shit about each other in every interview? check, unibrow? check), Juelz Santana (human crack in the flesh? check, white teen starlet grinding her nonexistent ass all up on you on national television? check, "A!" chain? check)

Now you can add T.O. to that list cause dude not only leaves his old team for a better team and a bigger contract, he makes a brand new rap track dissing the Eagles. Check it: TerrellOwens.com. That's so awesome I can barely contain myself. In and of itself, the song is a total shit. But to have the gall to do that is amazing. It's like kicking somebody's ass and then pulling an R.Kelly (read: peeing) on them to really remind them what happened.

It'll just be more ammo for all the haters all over the internets (read: old white dudes) talk all that nonsense about 'oh he's not a team player', 'he talks too much trash', 'he's a bad role model for kids'. Those people are stupid cause they fail to recognize T.O. isn't exactly lying, he's pretty much the best reciever in the league. I mean, did they forget that God cleared him to play in the Super Bowl last year despite having a broken foot. Ignoring the fact that God is a nonexistent figment of your imagination (more on that later), it still takes huge balls to say something like that cause apparently TONS of people, especially the general white dude football fan, believes in a big invisible man that controls everything.

Plus, if T.O. gets truly out of line again, which he promised he won't, I'm sure Bill Parcells will just lay down a serious mean-mugging, and dude will immediately step in line. It's not like Parcells is exactly a fat-as-porky-pig-lookin'-chubby-baby-pushover like Andy Reid.

This is way more than enough for my check mark. I even got pictures and videos and shit. Just to cover all my media bases, heres the song of the day: Foo Fighters-Up In Arms.mp3 Dave Grohl is all that is man. (No homo.)