Best of 06

Best Single: What You Know by T.I.

Does anybody not like this song? The only possibly comparison would be the complete opposite of the Cowboys performance on Christmas.

Best Movie: Jackass Number 2

This is all I could come up with.

Best Lyric: '...and possibly bend you over' from Smack That

Akon is awesome. The earnestness in his voice as he sings about wanting to fuck a stripper is a feat not easily matched. Auto-tune+African accent+degrading come ons as legitimate pick up lines=ZOMGAWSUM!!!

Best Sports Moment: VY nutting all over the Trojans

Fact: 5 USC Songbirds were impregnated during the last heroic run by VY.

Best Discovery By Me: 24 = g00t

Who knew Kiefer Sutherland having The Worst Day Evar could result in such extreme gulliness? The show is also fantastic at showing the true sides of women in all their forms through the diverse female characters.

HELLS YEAH.

Remember the ultimate in gangsta apparel back in the golden days of elementary school? The Starter Jacket was part of every kid's wardrobe, the cool ones at least. Back when kids wore their sports team on their back at all times, with no worries of what was 'fashionable'. I'm as guilty of this as anybody else, I know about clothes probably more than any random faggot off the street.

But the truth is, I think the Starter Jacket might be as valuable to the Cowboys success as anything else. Cause the last time I remember the America's Team held their rings in the sky, Starter Jackets were still popular. And then they got brushed to the side as they were deemed 'uncool' anymore. Look where that got us.

Coincidence? I think not.

bitch, i'm trill.

Of course everybody and their mother has seen this ad. But I think this piece of television genius makes me want to study advertising more than anything else. It single-handedly made me enjoy that e-40 song, which I had previously brushed off cause it was 'hyphy'.

if there ever was a reason to believe in god...

Man, I really wish I didn't have to be cracked out on Adderall studying for tests, because I totally missed what was possibly the best television program of the year. There is some consolation for those who missed this hot-ness extravaganza like me, the Victoria's Secret website has an ultra HQ version up on their site. It's edited, but just play it on repeat. Over and over and over and over and over and over.
(http://www2.victoriassecret.com/fashionshow/index.cfm)

I know it's obvious and all, but these girls make every other human being look like pieces of shit. (This is excusing the bald-headed African of course.) I don't know why female celebrities would want to go to these shows because they can't help but make themselves look horrible.

Want to make your head explode? Try ranking them. Besides Adriana at numero uno of course. That's a given.




And speaking of god: apparently Jesus never committed a sin. It might not have been that hard in those days. For one, they didn't have women hot enough to make you want to kill yourself. And two, they were all made to wear shitty rags and cover themselves up and all that retarded ideology. Like Jesus could have really resisted himself from unleashing his divine power all up in Gisele's holy trinity.



the Queen.

wooohoooo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late, but that KT Tunstall has some pretty good songs. Must be to get FOUR (count 'em) features on Grey's Anatomy. Anyways, I figure that must be the only way for artists nowadays to sell records. I mean, look at all those crazy ass shenanigans Jay-Z pulled and he only sold like 650k out the gate. And he's expected to drop significantly the second week, so he'll probably top out at around 1.5m.

KT Tunstall here on ther other hand has sold about a million of her debut. And I had barely heard of her. Little do I know, pretty much the only audience worth pandering to is the Grey's Anatomy one. Maybe the Jiggaman should start looking in that direction. Oh wait...

the undisputed.

See for yourself (Google search for Worst Band In The World)

I do feel that Nickelback and Limp Bizkit could definitely give them a run for their money. Remember when Scott Stapp challenged Fred Durst to a boxing match?

If there's lyrics written worse than that emo bullshit where it goes 'i really really really dont like you', I'd love to know. That chorus completely sums up the genre and makes an extremely convincing argument that emo music is ruining the next generation of suburban kids for life.

konichiwa, bitches.

What a stud. The pump fake gets them again.

Without a doubt, VY is most definitely

-VY's beastly performance also leads to one thing...

COWBOYS NUMERO UNO, BITCHES. YESSIR.

-I don't understand the big deal about Mike Vick flipping off Falcons fans. It's not his fault when the entire Falcons recieving corps dug deep within themselves to come up with TWO total catches and a big 52 yards. They dropped more than double the passes they caught for gain. And then old white guys bitch about Vick running and not throwing it well enough. People can boo him when he actually fucks up. And there's plenty of opportunities for that.

gem stones, flint stone, you could say i'm friends with fred.

Only Cam'ron is narcissistic enough to convince himself that he'd look good in a pink Russian fur hat.

Plus, the best music video interlude EVAR?! at 1:52

-also, how 'bout them Cowboys? t-Ro is gunslinger extraordinaire. now if only TO can hold onto the damn ball...

Kramer goes on a tirade against niggers.

Crack is a hell of a drug.

the truth.

tony romo is the future. 82% completion, what?

it is what it is.

gulliest headgear ever?

ching chang chong.

I recently read up on how Ivy League schools are now trying to cockblock chinaman from their schools by using higher admissions standards. Kinda like what they do to white folks, except even worse. And now, even crackers get a break from the onslaught of the slant-eyes.

Cracka-ass crackers everywhere have bitched and moaned about having less qualified african-americans (or in some circles, niggers) take their spots, jobs and all else due to affirmative action. I, for one, have always felt that whites should shut the fuck up. Being white is still the number one advantage you have in this country, and most parts of the world.

So for white folks to even think about complaining is ridiculous because if it's really so bad, wanna trade?

Didn't think so.

It seems that chinaman are getting shafted here. They don't get the easy slide of affirmative action like jigs do. They also don't get the power that derives from an inherently racist system and society like crackers do. So it's pretty much a lose-lose for the chanks.

Man, those white folks are some devious motherfuckers. But come on, who really thought those crusty crackers at the top of the ladder were going to let any other shades in the loop? Even if they did get there based on merit and by the rules, the rules will change. Those guys definitely do not want their pool muddied. Why do you think out of all the chinaman that work as engineers at TI making calculators and such, every single person on the board of directors is white than snow*?

That being said, it's still better than being a beaner. Boy, do they have it rough.

Check it: Is Admissions Higher for Asians at Elite Schools? (link to transcript of Wall Street Journal article, cause those jews make you pay)

also: New Challenge to Affirmative Action (Inside Higher Ed)

*there is one jig lady on there, but I think it's to look good. White people already feel really good about themselves whenever they can name off more than one of the colored as their friend, so this pretty much makes up for slavery.

insights.

Responsible for the best marketing move in music this year.

One of my favorite things to laugh at is adult contemporary music. You know what I'm talking about, the songs that play on the 'Mix' stations. Those stations kick ass, they'll play some gangsta ass shit like Hey Jealousy right after they play Semi-Charmed Life.

Seriously, that is a killer back to back combo. It's like the 90s never left.

Anyways, since these stations only add like 2 songs a year to their repertoire and pretty much never take a song off, it's the ultimate place a musician would want their song to go since the royalties are basically endless. Well, kind of. If money > artistic merit, then yeah. But seriously, whoever says no amount of money can buy their dignity hasn't been offered enough.

Artists who have been anointed into such a tightly controlled circle include musical masters such as the aforementioned Gin Blossoms and Third Eye Blind, as well as Maroon 5, Matchbox 20 and Rob Thomas, Natasha Bedingfield, Wham!, that guy who sings the 'Bad Day' song. Top notch group, I know.

The most recent addition is The Fray. When I first heard that song about overtime and some chick is in his head, I chuckled to myself in the car. Not because I'm too cool, but because I do have an affinity for future adult contemporary hits and this one was destined for soccer moms everywhere to sing along 6 months after the video was retired from TRL. As much as I laugh and make fun of music like this, I do have a good amount of respect for people that can bang out a couple of tunes that can get stuck in millions of people's heads and get paid for it. A good melody is a good melody, no matter how cliche and coated in reverb it is. After all, my favorite band is Oasis.

Which brings me to 'How To Save A Life', the second single from The Fray. This song sounds pretty much like the first single. I thought it was the same song until I waited for the overly drastic enunciation of the '8 sehkuuuuunds in ooooooooverteeeeiiiime' part and it never came. I brushed it off to the side and didn't pay much attetion to it until I caught the video on ABC. I was like huh? And then it became clear: it's a Grey's Anatomy tie in! Now it makes sense. Jesus Christ that was a smart move. I mean, get it? Sometimes girls will like totally want to bang a married man. You know, cause they're sluts. And they'll hype it all up and be like 'he's not happy in his relationship, I'll bring him out of it.' I'm going to save his life! So that fits in with the show's premise. But it doesn't stop there. They're also doctors! How fitting! Like OMG, it's like a double entendre or something.

I mean, what other way is this band truly going to get some money off a record about a crack addiction with the music industry in the shithole and a ginger for a lead singer? The only way possible is to play it up so that girls across the nation will think it's about them, via the tried and true medium of a shitty, sappy TV drama about self-important asshole doctors. I commend The Fray wholeheartedly for working that shit to its max potential. Street cred don't pay the bills. Plus in all honesty, it's a very well developed pop song and they seem to be able to play live very well, which is more than I can say for most mainstream music.

Read: 'Adult Contemporary Radio, Where Pop Hits Live Strong' (MTVnews)

But for real, I hate Grey's Anatomy.

half/half.

Talk about a pedigree: Daughter of Quincy Jones. Harvard graduate. Actress on the best show on network TV. And she's like really pretty.



Watch every episode of The Office here

nobody wins, one side just loses more slowly.

Two big things happened this week. The Democrats took over the House and Senate. Along with this major change in American politics, Donald Rumsfeld also got cut loose. Evil motherfucker that he is, I feel that's a pretty easy slide. He gets to fuck things up, then leave. Whoopdeedoo.

A lot of people are getting huge boners from this change in power. I'm not one of them. Politicians are politicians, the way the system is set up, they will still manipulate everything within their power to make themselves look good for the next election. (btw, if all they ever worry about is the next election, where do they find the time to do actual work for the people?) If it was up to these fucks, they would be responsible for every time you score above your league, every time you have perfect change, every time your professor cancels class. And they will deny until they die that they were the ones that didn't put up a fight to prevent the Iraq war from happening, that they were the ones chickenshit scared to go against Bush, that they were the ones that didn't do their fucking job.

Plus, I don't trust that Nancy Pelosi broad. I mean, she is a woman. And we all know bitches are crazy.

Aside from my politics rant, another major breakthrough happened: K-Fed got dumped. And it's on camera. Check it:



Hahahahahaha. I don't know who deserves some shit like that more, K-Fed or Rumsfeld.

the GOAT

Greatest commentator of all time?

There was a great bit in tonight's NBA on TNT (best sportscast show, bar none) where they listed the records of the hosts' post-championship season openers. Magic came up on top 4-1, Kenny was 2-0, and good ol' Chuck got a N/A. Hahahahahahaha. That's gold. It just further proves my case that Charles Barkley should be on every media venue possible. He should do color commentary for every sports broadcast, but that's a given. But let's not stop at sports. We could use Chuck's educated opinion on pretty much everything. Chuck as a judge on Project Runway? Sheeeeeiiiiiiit, that's good TV. Special correspondent for the Daily Show? The possibilites truly are endless.

And I think Chuck is running for governor in Alabama too. Please vote him in.

Oh yea, the Heat had to bite the curb tonight. 30 points in the first half? 66 for the game? I thought they were the fucking champs.

Lakers over the big, bad Suns too. Without the best scorer in the league. Yessir.

Mavs over Spurs by 12 on thursday.

+44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating album review.

My first favorite band ever, Blink 182 split up this year due to some beef between Mark and Tom. Probably cause Tom turned into what seems to be a complete douche bag. It's quite sad, really, cause they were one of the bands that seemed like they had the most fun doing what they did. That was always one of the biggest appeals of the band, the humor and the genuine interest in looking on the bright side and appreciating the fact that they get to be rock stars for a living. Anyways, here's Mark and Travis's new project, +44.

Lycanthrope

Continues in the same vein as the last Blink album, but not as experimental, for whatever thats worth. Straightforward pop rock. Really, if it wasn't for Mark's voice this could be any other band. Not particularly impressive, but not bad either.

Baby, Come On

Starts off with some computer drums and cut up 'whoosh' sounds. Kind of like the beginning of those Linkin Park songs. The chorus is catchy enough, but not really one to stick with you. He seems to still be writing about chicks even though hes like 34 and married.

When Your Heart Stops Beating

The first single. It's always important that the lead off batter is hits enough to get on base. This is the best song so far. Good melodies. Travis's drumming on the chorus is particularly awesome, the hi-hat sixteenths are a nice touch.

Little Death

Acoustic guitars are in this. Not that great of an idea especially cause the verses just sound stupid. The verse melodies go sour at the end of each couplet where it goes up for one note.

155

Probably going for some 80s Cure sounds. I like this one, the synths work well with the vocals. I still expect Tom to come in at any moment.

Lillian

Ehh.

Cliff Diving

All these songs sound the same. You could say the same about Blink, but those have nostalgic value and are better songs anyways. Mark is now just the 'old man in the club'.

Interlude

Not nearly as good as the one on the last Blink album. that thing was moody and dark. This just sounds like a 16 year old who just got his first copy of Frooty Loops.

Weatherman

Might be referring to the Nicholas Cage movie which wasn't very funny, except for the montage where he got pegged with fast food. I imagine throwing a chili dog at somebody's face must be a pretty satisfying action.

No It Isn't

This is the one about Blink. It's not bad, but still sounds like a 15 year old wrote it thanks to the endless use of cliche lines. You'd think something so monumental ending would inspire better lyrics. Otherwise, stronger effort than the last 3 tracks or so.

Make You Smile

Has a chick on it, I think that's what the original plan was, but she got knocked up or something like that so she quit. This isn't bad, more programmed drums in the verses and live in the chorus. The chick's voice is a nice change of pace from a whole album of Mark.

Chapter XII

This was a good weekend for football, no? Horns come back from 21, the 'Boys come back from 14. Solid effort by both, especially dual-threat Tony 'T-Ro' Romo (courtesy of Eric). The season isn't looking as bleak as I thought. The O-line did their job, kept Peppers limited. Most importantly Jason Witten got freed up from blocking duty for the Statue of Liberty and made some huge catches. Oh, and this song sounds like every other one.

Conclusion

Gone are the days of happy-go-lucky Blink. Which is to be expected, I guess, given how they're not named Blink 182 anymore. The fun songs are missing, these guys take themselves too seriously now. Obviously that was the problem that broke them up. They forgot they were just a bunch of dudes that lucked onto being rock stars. This album gets a 2/10 on the bbbbbaaaallllllliiiiiiiinnnn' meter.

random points.

fact: stephen colbert is the balls. reason why

-if there's a stronger case for legal abortions, please enlighten me. (via sterogum)

-the world's most comprehensive source on the Mighty Ducks (link)

-mtvU is pretty awesome. im actually sort of discovering new music. i've seen every video they have on current rotation. all the bases are covered, and going from regina spektor to lil wayne is exactly how my playlist works out.

-new clipse out 11/28. please let the crackers at jive play fair.

king amongst kings.

Yet another example of why Noel Gallagher is the most balla-ass balla ever. The Chief teams up with North England paper company middle management extraordinaire David Brent to release this double A-side (along with If You Don't Know Me By Now). Everything about this song is great. From the rawkin' power chords to the gay lyric situation in the bridge. Not to mention it sounds like a Boston song, which we all know would kick ass no matter the situation. There was really only one way for this song to end up: bbbbbbaaaaaaaalllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnn'!

For the sensitive souls, here's some more acoustic life lessons courtesy of David Brent:

bbbbaaaaallllllllliiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!

the most ballin' shoe evar?

check the stats: 1 of 1 in the entire world made for cool-guy guru Hiroshi Fujiwara, 100% real crocodile skin, Coach leather lining, 24k gold lace tips.

in honor of such ballin' activity, Jim Jones - We Fly High rmx (ft Diddy, Baby, T.I., Young Dro).mp3

get a grip on yourself, it dont cost much.

oasis b-sides > 99% of most band's entire catalog. please believe.

critics, hipsters, and indie fags love to bash the gallaghers because they sound derivative and like to think they're the shit. but what many of these filthy douche bags fail to realize is that music that feature thin production, random instruments, no singable melody, and 'experimental' ideas don't lift you up when you feel down. they can't be sung with your buddies at the top of your voices to top off a solid night of knocking back beers.

and as for derivative, that much is true, but it's not like they attempt and fail, is it? in fact, they fucking nail it as hard as you can possibly can. i also don't think anyone can fault the source of inspiration either. the beatles? the stones? better than seeing someone 20 years from now trying to re-create laffy taffy.

why do people complain when rock stars act like rock stars? they're not your friends. they're entertainers. of course they're arrogant and cocky, apologetic celebrities are boring. i personally hope they choke on their slice of humble pie.

speaking of pie, i could go for some country pot pie right now. magic wok will have to do.

let's get it.

this 'stache is, in fact, the killers' best work yet.

and in other realms of popular music: the Snowman returns!
Young Jeezy - I Love It.mp3
yes, you are correct, it is What You Know faster. but how can a faster version of the best song of the year be anything but awesome?

Pitchfork's review of the new Jet album gave me a chuckle.

more money, more problems.

First off: WTF?!

I'm going to back off my usual staunch stance for suicide attemptees to really follow through and die. I often times say I wish those people would just do it because 99% of the time they're just pussying out and looking for attention. So under normal circumstances they should just man up and do the damn thing. The planet's over crowded, it wouldn't hurt if the people who wanted to die actually did.

But then again, those people don't play for the Cowboys.

And they damn sure aren't the best wideout in the league like T.O. is. And they damn sure didn't get a 40 million dollar deal to run around on a field and catch a ball.

'Here's a great idea for a hot look this season: Be the most attractive woman in the world.' - a Vice Do

One question: how the hell are there fags in this world with girls that look like this?

hahahaha. just look at that thing. hahahahaha. go watch jackass 2.

easy takes it.

this broad > cassie. shes more talented. obviously.

cool as a Phantom.

Greatest commercial ever?

i know its wrong, but i know your type

real recognize real.

some tracks off the new album stripped bare. despite this being how the songs were originally written, they still sound better with the full arrangements.

the format - if work permits (acoustic).mp3
the format - matches (acoustic).mp3
the format - she doesn't get it (acoustic).mp3
the format - the compromise (acoustic).mp3
the format - pick me up (acoustic).mp3

chuckle.

(more here)

sidenote: T.O. will be back in time for the Eagles, keeping it my most anticipated game of the year. And I will take a Mike Vick over a Reggie Bush, period.

random points.

hahahahahahahahahaha. 9/22.

-im having a hard time deciding, but cassie might be the hottest broad in top 40 right now. maybe its cause i have a thing for those mixed, melting-pot types. tiger woods style. no homo. releasing a first single about protein shakes doesn't hurt either.

-everybody knows already, but lonelygirl15 isn't real. not much of a surprise, but apparently theyre not selling anything. just a couple mid-20s types trying to get noticed. as for the girl, she's still pretty, but she won't be sacrificed on an altar. so win-win?

-you should watch the wire. every season is amazing. the intensity and storytelling is unparalleled. s04e01 pt 1, pt 2.

-dane cook is not funny. he can not write a joke to save his life. he just yells a lot and makes stupid gestures. meathead 'bros' think hes the funniest thing since the last football game, where they berate the kids they drunkenly fall on as 'faggots'.

lamb to the slaughters.

best drama on television. bar none.

on a completely unrelated note:
The Blow - True Affection.mp3
The Killers - When You Were Young (Thin White Duke rmx).mp3

Rock n Roll Star
Some Might Say
Talk Tonight
Lyla
The Importance of Being Idle
Wonderwall
Slide Away
Cigarettes & Alcohol
The Masterplan
Live Forever
Acquiesce
Supersonic
Half The World Away
Go Let It Out
Songbird
Morning Glory
Champagne Supernova
Don't Look Back In Anger

my exceptions: ill take a Don't Go Away and Stand By Me over a Go Let It Out and Lyla any day.

and we'll fight like hell to hide that we're giving up.

I did not even notice that today is the 5th anniversary of 9/11 until I saw it on some headlines. In fact, nothing out of the ordinary has changed for me since a couple dirty looking towel heads hijacked some planes and flew them into two buildings, killing thousands of white people in the process. Nothing at all.

So does that mean we've won?

rock on.

Clipse - Re-up Anthem (Nick Catchdubs remix).mp3
The Jane Does - Junkie.mp3
The Sammies - Falling Out.mp3
The Pipettes - It Hurts To See You Dance So Well.mp3
Cam'ron - Love My Life.mp3
Blur - Charmless Man.mp3
Jay-Z - Friend or Foe.mp3
Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. II.mp3
We Are Scientists - Worth The Wait.mp3
PlayRadioPlay - Compliment Each Other.mp3

too tired to comment, but all pretty good tracks. some classics, some new shit.

bridging the gap.

the 90s arent as smooth a transition as the 95s. but both are pretty sweet, if for nothing but to just see a live product.

R.I.P.

Time to pour out a little liquor for The Crocodile Hunter. It's pretty fucked up that he's dead, but at least he went out in style.

Here's to you, Steve Irwin, for slapping poisonous snakes in the face for the education and entertainment of the masses. You will be missed.

diamonds on my neck.

Talk about bling blaow...



The most obscene piece of jewelry ever? And to think I helped pay for that monstrosity.

big pimpin'.

Mando Diao - The Wildfire (If It Was True).mp3

"There's something in the way she said 'I hate you cause you breathe'". That's already a fantastic line in and of itself, but when matched with perfect eh-who-gives-a-fuck attitude and jangly guitars and a soaring major key chorus with horns, its all that and a bag of chips. In fact, the first half of the record that I listened to is solid all around.

Justin Timberlake ft. T.I. - My Love.mp3

I think this is Timberlake's second single off of FutureSex/LoveSounds, possibly the worst title ever slapped onto an album. This track is all over the place: lots of bubbly synths, Timbaland's signature bouncy drums, and layered underneath it all is Timberlake's beatboxing. It's not great, but I wouldn't turn it off if it came on the radio as it is much more interesting to listen to than anything else these days. JT does his schtick as pop star extraordinaire, singing horribly cliche lyrics with flair. All that is fine and dandy until the King comes and completely wrecks shop. The flow is magnificient, catching the cadence of the synths and wrapping every syllable perfectly around the beat. Like Ludacris in 'Yeah', the song is good and all, but its the guest verse that steals the show.

Of Montreal - The Party's Crashing Us (I Am the World Trade Center mix).mp3

I've never heard the orginial song although I am pretty sure Jesse '13 year old girl' Smith sent me the album. Whatever, because this remix is pretty awesome. The only part that bugs me is the guy who mixed it calls himself I Am the World Trade Center. What kind of shitty hipster name is that?

and the truth shall set you free.

via Overheard in NY, definitely one of the funniest sites around.

To be honest, I'm not sure those exist anymore.

TMNTxYoung Jeezy

bubble yum.

Messy.

break ya neck.

Your eyes are not decieving you, those are indeed Reebok Pumps remixed by Alife made completely out of tennis ball material.

And on a completely unrelated note, I hate people that talk about their dogs nonstop like its special in any form or fashion. Unless you're the owner of that dog that shoots like a kajillion free throws in a row, then fall back on the dog talk. It's just fucking rude. Word to David Cross.

senorita.

more here

Nobody even comes close. suuuuuuuuriously.

G's up, ho's down.

I'm willing to bet Snoop Dogg had no idea he was going to change the world. He was probably just smoking a blunt, downing some 40s with his homeboys and whatnots in the shitty part of town when he was like, 'yo cuz, you know what? fuck them bitches, nigga. G's up, ho's down. for life.' Fast forward a decade or so and its now one of the most prevalent ideas among males.

Now, I'm not saying the idea of male empowerment hasn't been around. But in this day and age of Paris Hiltons, feminists and other generally dumb teenage girls who actually want to be the 4 over-the-hill single bitches in Sex and te City, I think all men have to toast Mr. D-O-double-G for coming up with a singular phrase that defines that mentality, and gives us all something to believe in.

Before you label me a sexist or woman hater and so forth, check out a pretty much fool-proof test on women:

a girl will think something is cute because a) it is proportionally smaller than usual, and/or b) something tries to imitate an adult action but fails miserably.

bonus points if its shiny.

Props to Mr. O'Bannon for the moment of genius.

Also: read up on A Man's Right To Choose (via Bol)

To cap things off, here is a great video by the Arctic Monkeys detailing an excellent example of why the world would be a much better place if it was indeed G's up, and ho's down.

posted up.

the only good set from the vice photo issue.
(more here)

well, this one too, but it makes me feel dirty inside.

heat redemption.

lady in the street.


freak in the bed.


To redeem myself from the shit sandwich below

coasting.

I'm going to venture out into the dangerous land of self indulgence and introspection for a second, so bear with me.

I've been awash in a sea of mediocrity for the longest time. Never great, never bad, never cared. It has always kind of bothered me, cause it's fucking boring. Not to mention I don't particularly like run of the mill things. Either kick ass or suck ass, middle ground breeds apathy. The sad fact is that most people are run of the mill. Maybe it's time to accept that fact and deal with it. Maybe it's time to get off my ass and 'reach my potential'. Both choices sound like shit. One sounds like settling and the other sounds like an infomercial for a 36 tape pack of motivational bullshit.

All successful people are driven, that's the uniting factor. Nobody successful lucked on to it completely. I just want to know how the hell people stay motivated at something. They must make up some fantastic bullshit about how hard work means they'll end up with puppies and white picket fences. And they must believe that is what will make them happy. And they have to believe that nonsense for their whole lives. That just seems delusional. Maybe that's the key to being successful in this world. You lie to yourself so much, that you start believing it.

Fuck everything I just wrote, I pretty much know what I want. Lots and lots of money. Like ridiculous amounts. God, being one of those old money blue blood rich asshole wasps must kick so much ass. You might have to wear yellow shorts with lobsters on it or something gay like that, but I'm willing to let that slide.

What a horrible post.

the second coming.

Most anticipated movie of 2006?

I'm willing to bet it'll at least be the best.

sexyback.

Yes, this is a woman who has had two kids.

note: Dog Problems isn't actually that bad. I guess I kind of like showtunes. No homo.

The Format - Dog Problems album review.

During this period of horrible music, I can safely say this is one of the very few albums I had been looking forward to. I thoroughly enjoyed Interventions & Lullabies, it was a very impressive piece of pop music. It was heavy on hooks, melodies and harmonies that stayed on repeat way after most songs should, yet it didn't feel unwelcomed at all. Not to mention I discovered it at the right time, where I could relate to the lyrics and themes presented. As I have said over and over again, that is not the case nowadays. However, because my days are so void of activity, I'll give this a spin.

Matches

I spot a banjo, harpsichord, piano, bells and snare rolls. I guess this is supposed to sound like a symphonic band or some shit. Not half bad, but I can't imagine myself singing along.

I'm Actual

This is in 6/8. I hate 6/8. This isn't very good, it's got some strings. Pretty hokey arrangement. No wonder their label dropped them. I'd be pissed off if I was supposed to somehow market this to 16 year olds.

Time Bomb

Halfway decent verses, closer to something on Interventions & Lullabies. Extremely mediocre chorus. I'm not a big fan of the bridge where Nate the singer starts yelping. I don't know what the fuck he is saying, but I do know he sounds like a bitch. Also not a fan of the 'are you worth it' part where he drags the melody way up there.

She Doesn't Get It

This is better, some synth, handclaps, doo doo doos, just straightforward pop. Can't say this will be memorable in any way though. Still better than everything that preceded it.

Pick Me Up

I guess the earlier tracks were a weedout process, because this is better than the last song. If this is the case, the last track must be almost half as good as Hey Jealousy (word to the Gin Blossoms).

Dog Problems

This sounds like a showtune. Why the fuck would you try to sound like a showtune. Swingtime piano with horns. I can't imagine myself repeating this one.

Oceans

Picks back up again from that last stupid attempt at 'expanding our musical horizons'. Pop tunes like this are what The Format excell at, although this song might be a little too sweet. The replay value is lowered because of that. It's like that Natasha Bedingfield song, it was awesome the first 50 times I heard it, but now I can't stand it anymore.

Dead End

Not paying attention.

Snails

Missed this too.

The Compromise

This is what the whole album should sound like. Word to everything this song kicks ass. The guitars, the vocals, everything. Nothing fancy, just good pop rock.

Inches and Failing

Did you guys know I sent a kid to a psychiatrist last year?

If Work Permits

Might be good, I donno.

Overall: 5/10?

Definitely not worth the 15 bucks I dropped on this, especially when Interventions and Lullabies is only 10 at Best Buy. Although I didn't pay nearly enough attention to it to really review it. Maybe I'll dig it up after I get all teh ghey over a chick again some time in the future. Probably not.

Q: you know how i know that you're gay?

A: you like coldplay.



word.

eternal summer slacking.

Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy.mp3

Talk about gangsta shit of catastrophic proportions. This is that good stuff right here. At first it might not seem like anything special, but that semi-awkward melody in the chorus will get stuck in your head and will not leave. It's semi-awkward cause it's actually pretty hard to sing, especially the third 'hey jealous-yyyy', when you're walking around town humming it to yourself you'll realize that you are pretty much tone deaf and devoid of any god given musical capabilities. True story.

The topic matter is pretty straightforward, I think about a quarter of songs written are about how person A fucked up a relationship with person B. And since they're 1) white folks, and 2) not Dipset, they take the rather sentimental route and ponder 'what if?' for 3 and a half minutes. No matter, this is not sappy in any way. It is more of an acknowledgement to what was and what could have been if not for those wonderful instances of self-destructive behavior. And really, who can't relate to that?

11/10

T.I. - 99 Problems (Lil' Flip diss).mp3

I don't even know why the King wastes his breath on leprechaun rejects like Flip. I guess Tip just needs something to do in his free time. Flowing hard and smooth over Rick Rubin's 808 drums, T.I. does not let up on the Clover G, threatening and having a general ball kicking down the holes in his opponent's street credibility. 'Lyrically I'll murk you/physically I'll hurt you/you ain't never ran the streets/you had a curfew'. True as with all diss tracks, the shit talking at the end is undoubtedly better than the actual song. The shock in Tip's voice when he speaks on Flip's 'audacity' to mention his name is straight up fucking hilarious. 'Fuckboy' Flip needs to just let it go, the throne is taken, the King is crowned.

7/10

Lily Allen - Little Things.mp3

(Not to be confused with the horrible Good Charlotte song of the same name.)

This chick is going/went through the whole internet blog hype machine which basically swagger jacks NME's whole 'lift them up, then tear them down' schtick and speeds it up so it happens all within a week. Regardless of what everybody thinks, this song is not bad, especially if you're a chick. Lily Allen is a rapper/singer/musician from the UK and she tells some good stories over sappy samples and drum machines. Lyrically this is the female rendition of Hey Jealousy. Same topic matter, done totally differently of course. It's much more personal as rap allows for much more detail to be said into each couplet and verse. Generally this kind of stuff sucks, as the whole reminiscing vibe is not my steez, but this song is ok for the first 3 listens or so. Then it just starts getting annoying. Maybe it's just cause I don't have a vag.

4/10

the motherland.