Get some weight on you like that fat bitch Della Reese.

Hi.

2007-11-12T13:25:00.001-08:00

If you are the girl that stood next to me during the UT-Tech game, please contact me.

I was too big of a wuss to ask you out (or for your name for that matter) and too busy pretending to be really interested in the game. On the extremely rare chance you remember mine, please say something as I'd like to buy you a drink.

Justin

Measuring stick.

2007-09-22T14:32:00.001-07:00

If anyone gets more than half the references on this blog: http://gabesaidwereintomovements.blogspot.com/

LETS BE FRIENDS!

hands in the sky.

2007-09-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

SUMMERTIME SMASH.

Seeing as how 'Ye threw yet another rampage over meaningless awards, this new video for The Good Life drops at the right time. I, along with Big Lo, picked up Graduation today like many others according to the cashier girl at Target. As much as I download music I felt like Kanye West is one of the few artists on a major scale that give a shit and thus worth supporting. His tantrums and bitch-fits and egomania might annoy many, but to me, they show that he cares about his craft. Comparing him to 50 Cent is ridiculous as they're completely different people with different goals and priorities.

The Good Life is my favorite song on Graduation for many reasons. The obvious being the wall of synths, MJ sample and of course the ubiquitous T-Pain. But the subject matter is one of the few songs on the album that actually translates to what 'Ye has been hyping up as 'stadium status' material. The rush of joy that overwhelms this song is guaranteed to lift any deflated spirits and get heads bobbin'.

As far as the video, So Me did the art. He also did Justice's D.A.N.C.E. vid, which really should have won video of the year. I like the look, especially when Pain and 'Ye are dancing horribly out of sync.

And of course, the model.

Congratulations Kanye West: on finding the hottest video girl ever and more importantly, for giving a shit.

2007-08-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

BYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Starting to look like something again, ain't it? I sure hope so. Not one to stay stuck in nostalgia, but the Dream Team of yore was truly a memorable moment in sports. MJ, Magic, Chuck, Bird all banding together for country, for pride and most of all: to let the rest of the world know that they ain't shit.

Something went wrong between the highlight reels and the bitter taste of bronze. But hopefully that is being reversed in the form of the new Team USA. And what do you know, salvation seems to come in the form of The Most Famous Man Ever Named After A Steak.

The best is the best. Ain't no other way around it. This is gonna be fun.

juden.

2007-07-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

would you trust this guy?

So tonight I decided to ask my parents about a question that weighs heavily on my mind: Who do you trust less?

a) Jews
b) Muslims

My mother gave a very politically correct answer at first: 'that depends on the person, I'd have to meet them first. Their religion does not dictate their trustworthiness.'

But then she said... 'but I don't trust Jews much.'

My dad asked her how she could not trust Jews when she believes in the Bible.

Her reply: 'the Jews don't have that much to do with the Bible.'

Mistaken theological facts or not, she does have a point. A common thread throughout the world's different cultures is the fact that none of them particularly trust the juden. You'd think that Chinese people, who share such a strong similarity to the juden's financial handling skills, would be more understanding of god's chosen people. Wrong.

So the question is this: can the whole world seriously be drinking the same flavor of haterade for this many millennia?

HEY DUMBASSES:

2007-07-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

PUT DOWN THE HATERADE. LEAVE MIKE VICK ALONE. FAGGOTS.

AND SINCE WHEN DID IT BECOME LAW TO HAVE TO TREAT ANIMALS HUMANELY? DOES NOBODY SEE THE CONTRADICTION IN THAT? A FEDERAL LAW THAT FORCES HUMANS TO TREAT ANIMALS BETTER THAN THEY TREAT THEMSELVES. WTF? HE DIDN'T EVEN RAPE ANY WHITE GIRLS!

2007-06-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

Kanye is straight stuntin' on niggas. Jean vest and all. What other moron/genius spends 3 months searching the earth up and down for a pair of window blind aviators?

AND he has Cassie, the hottest racially indeterminate slut to put out a #1 single about slurping cock, grindin' it out without no guest spot or nothin'. 'Bitch, just stand there and look pretty.' True indeed.

I'm also going to take the time to express my absolute love for half-and-halfs aka mulattos aka mutts (c) the LV don. I'm not sure what it is, but somehow when two horny people of different shades get to churning out babies the whole is ALWAYS greater than the sum of its parts.

But you already knew that.

PWNZ0R3D!

2007-06-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

self explanatory.

Summer Mix 2007

2007-06-16T11:47:00.001-07:00

via dallaspenn.com

Summer Mix 2007 aka a bunch of songs I've been listening to for the past two weeks.

Justice
Cassie
Kanye
Harvey Danger
Blur
Kells
Lil' Wayne
Cam
Rihanna
Feist
Girl Talk
Kid Sister
and of course Diddy, The King of All Jigs.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QAULVEP1

New tweaked version, still not satisfied but whatever. No more Blur or Diddy. But the picture stays. Too awesome.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/1b5srg

Didn't know where to put this in the mix. Not that it matters now that I think about it. Best part is how Justice correctly chooses the most important message to emphasize in the remix.

N.E.R.D. - She Wants To Move (Justice remix)
http://www.zshare.net/audio/23008777e7d644/

can't tell ye nothin'

2007-05-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

two of the craziest egomaniacs of their respective fields

Tracklisting

01. Kanye West - Friday Morning, May 25th, 2007 (Intro) 02:17
02. Kanye West - Stronger (Snippet) 01:23
03. CRS (Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West & Pharrell) - Us Placers 03:54
04. GLC - I Ain't Even On Yet 02:36
05. Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing 04:08
06. Common feat. Kanye West - Southside (Snippet) 02:22
07. Common - The Game 02:30
08. Kanye West - Porno (Interlude) 01:15
09. 88 Keys feat. Kanye West & Malik Yusef - Stay Up (Snippet) 01:50
10. Talib Kweli feat. Kanye West - In The Mood 02:32
11. Bentley feat. Pimp C & Lil' Wayne - C.O.L.O.U.R.S. 04:35
12. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West - Pro Nails 02:37
13. Kanye West - Young Folks 01:47
14. Kanye West - Interviews (Interlude) 03:31
15. Common - The People 03:25
16. Big Sean - Get'cha Some 02:57
17. Consequence - Don't Forget Em 02:55
18. Sa-Ra - White! (On The Floor) 03:00
19. Ne-Yo feat. Kanye West - Because Of You (Remix) 01:35
20. T-Pain feat. Kanye West - Buy You A Drank (Remix) 02:01
21. Kanye West - Throw Some D's (Interlude) 00:36
22. Kanye West - Throw Some D's (Remix) 02:36
23. Tony Williams - Dreaming Of Your Love 02:52
24. Really Doe feat. Jennifer Hudson - Magnetic Power 01:47
25. PM - Hater Family 03:36

Total Time: 64:37

take your pick (via TSS):
www.sendspace.com/file/f9vfl2

www.mediafire.com/?8utjtducjz4

www.megaupload.com/?d=2UF6MKN4

www.mediafire.com/?d4b9lzgym2t

the world's greatest.

2007-05-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

Never one to shy away from grand statements, the Pied Piper recently claimed to place himself among the greatest black men ever. Ali, MLK, Malcolm - and Arruh. Some of you might be scratching your heads wondering wtf has gotten into the world's greatest living hitmaker/preteen fucker.

But can you doubt someone who records you and your mama and your sister's favorite hits while wearing a tall white tee with his own face singing cheaply ironed on? I sure won't.

As for the looming piss-on-you case, there's really not a problem. Put it like this: how many more people stand to benefit from Mr. Showbiz staying out of jail? If a couple girls get it in the eye so Kells can create bonafide hits for the masses, so be it. Collateral damage. Art requires sacrifice.

I uploaded this amazing video of R. showing his patriotic side two years ago. It's gotten 50000+ views now and I'm sure everyone is as moved as I am. If this doesn't make you proud to be an American, you might as well go deep throat Bin Laden. Traitors.

inspiration

2007-05-01T03:17:00.000-07:00

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger on Vimeo

First Visit to the New Office on Vimeo

8 years ago a couple college buddies started a website to keep in touch. This is what it has evolved into. Goes to prove that it is possible to be successful on your own terms.

DIY fuckers.

2007-04-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

now i want a floppy eared rabbit. id name it wasabi.

just do it.

2007-04-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

my buddy jesse smith's band has put out an EP titled 'Elijah, Wood You Please Sign Us?'
take the time and listen.

http://www.jessefornear.com/stir/music/We%20Can.MP3
http://www.jessefornear.com/stir/music/Motion%20Sickness.MP3
http://www.jessefornear.com/stir/music/The%20Promise%20Land.MP3
http://www.jessefornear.com/stir/music/Long%20Story%20Short.MP3
http://www.jessefornear.com/stir/music/You%20Got%20Me%20Thinking.MP3
(right click save as)

most BAAAALLLLLIIIIIINNNN' chinaman.

2007-03-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

What more can he say?

The Best Player In The NBA is playing like everything depends on it. Kinda like 200 million dollars or so depended on it. I love Kobe for all the determination and skizzillz he brings to the game. It makes me wish I watched every Lakers game to catch this shit in action. But honestly, it's just too much of a coincidence that he goes on a tear as the news that his jersey is outselling the biggest Chinaman on earth IN CHINA, as well as the fact that his shoe contract with Nike is running out. What better way to pump up endorsement values than averaging 55 a game in the past three?

Kobe Bryant is about to be the most BAAAALLLLLLLIIIIIINNNN' Chinaman.

mix.

2007-03-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

Dropkick Murphys
Killers vs. Muse
R. Kelly
Justin Timberlake
Bloc Party vs. Clipse
The Sounds
Dandy Warhols
Hush Sounds
Klaxons
Cold Way Kids
Hold Steady
Ghostface
Bright Eyes
Modest Mouse
Goodbooks
Virgins
Jay-Z

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6G57474K

hey hey you you.

2007-03-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

omg. hawt.

at first i was amazed to find a clear cut example of a person's creative output literally regressing before my eyes. but then i realized that she just looks really hawt and i would like to give her the secks. she even looked good as a ginger! i dont think it would have been as hawt if the song was anything better than regurgitated teen pop circa 2000. it reminds me of a while ago when britney still had hair. ahh... nostalgia.

lesser of two evils.

2007-02-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia ONSTAGE VIDEO
Uploaded by CapnHulk

Joe Rogan, meathead extraordinaire, confronts Carlos Mencia, unfunny not-really-a-beaner, about stealing material. As much as I hate Joe Rogan for being the guy that bears the torch for meatheads everywhere, Carlos Mencia is clearly the worse human being here. He's not funny, he just yells all the time, and to top it off he steals all his jokes. And he's not even mexican. Yet he got famous telling beaner jokes.

Some people have no shame.

stop, glare and think.

2007-02-13T02:48:00.000-08:00

Cam's recent scuffle with Cuuuuurtiiiis brings back some old times. I don't know if Killa is getting hungry again, or is he just self-delusional enough to believe the things that he says. But I applaud his total commitment to doing whatever the hell he wants.

This is as American as McDonald's and guns.

bandwagon's full.

2007-01-27T01:10:00.000-08:00

Damn, Beyonce IS a good actress.

I took the liberty of 'sampling' the new Fall Out Boy album last night and it is much better than what I thought it was going to be. If for nothing, they are consistent. You get the same infectious choruses, the same nonsensical song titles, the same unintelligible singing, and the self-referential, borderline retarded lyrics. That list might read like a bunch of qualities you don't want in a band, but this time it's OK. It's called a 'niche'.

I, for one, can't fathom how I used to take the lyrics so close to heart. All the horribly conceived metaphors that honestly don't really make sense unless you're in high school. I put them up on in my AIM profile and had away message wars of sorts with girls that I were too scared to say directly. Does it get more pathetic than that? I doubt it. The irony now is that for how much those lyrics meant to me back then, half the time I had to look them up cause I couldn't understand what the fat singer was saying. Enunciation was not part of the production process. Again, it's their niche.

Despite all that, applause is due for this band because now that I have gained some perspective and distance to where I can just listen with no emotional attachment, they still write some damn good tunes. Those choruses just soar with no end in sight. The instrumentation is tight and well orchestrated and executed. Some new r&b arrangements even show up, probably thanks to Babyface. Bashing Fall Out Boy isn't even hip anymore, they found what they're good at and became the best at it. I'll take a Fall Out Boy single repeatedly bashed into my skull over a John Mellencamp Chevy ad about our country any day of the week.

hot and fresh out the kitchen.

2007-01-09T22:31:00.000-08:00

Fat Joe - Make It Rain (remix ft. R Kelly, Lil' Wayne, T.I., Baby, Rick Ross).mp3

I struggle to put into words how ridiculous it is to hear this remix. It blows my mind in every way possible, both ironic and pure. Kels' verse is obviously the highlight of the whole song. It is so ridiculous that I seriously thought my head was going to explode. Who else could come up with such a retarded verse that so blatantly links to his infamous need to 'piss on you'? I can't figure out whether it's done in parody and humor or if he actually ignored the obvious connections. The passion and intensity he puts into making it 'rain on them hoooooooooes' points to the latter. Either way it's still good.

R Kelly overshadows the rest of the guys, even T.I., who comes with the same double time flow he surprised everyone with on 'I'm Talkin to You'. It's still impressive, maybe even more so because I kind of understand what he's saying this time around.

Anyways, I'm more amazed by this song every time I press replay (which is like the 47th time tonight already). It somehow managed to upstage the original while being a completely parody of itself. Color me impressed.

two on the vine.

2007-01-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

a fitting tribute to the OG of America.

it's prime time, baby.

2007-01-07T21:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like an old ass motherfucker talking about 'the old days'. But for christ's sake it's been 11 years. All I'm left with now is Deion slurring about gators and library cards to remind myself the 'boys used to be a powerhouse. Shit's embarrassing. I mean, I don't really expect the glory days all over again, but come on. It isn't even all Tony Homo's fault either. We wouldn't have to be in that situation if TG's dumb ass held on to the ball. I couldn't believe I was in a room with 10 other guys praying that we would be awarded a safety. A SAFETY! So many things went wrong and we were still in the lead only to fuck it up as only the Dallas Cowboys know how.

Best of 06

2006-12-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

Best Single: What You Know by T.I.

Does anybody not like this song? The only possibly comparison would be the complete opposite of the Cowboys performance on Christmas.

Best Movie: Jackass Number 2

This is all I could come up with.

Best Lyric: '...and possibly bend you over' from Smack That

Akon is awesome. The earnestness in his voice as he sings about wanting to fuck a stripper is a feat not easily matched. Auto-tune+African accent+degrading come ons as legitimate pick up lines=ZOMGAWSUM!!!

Best Sports Moment: VY nutting all over the Trojans

Fact: 5 USC Songbirds were impregnated during the last heroic run by VY.

Best Discovery By Me: 24 = g00t

Who knew Kiefer Sutherland having The Worst Day Evar could result in such extreme gulliness? The show is also fantastic at showing the true sides of women in all their forms through the diverse female characters.

2006-12-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

HELLS YEAH.

Remember the ultimate in gangsta apparel back in the golden days of elementary school? The Starter Jacket was part of every kid's wardrobe, the cool ones at least. Back when kids wore their sports team on their back at all times, with no worries of what was 'fashionable'. I'm as guilty of this as anybody else, I know about clothes probably more than any random faggot off the street.

But the truth is, I think the Starter Jacket might be as valuable to the Cowboys success as anything else. Cause the last time I remember the America's Team held their rings in the sky, Starter Jackets were still popular. And then they got brushed to the side as they were deemed 'uncool' anymore. Look where that got us.

Coincidence? I think not.

bitch, i'm trill.

2006-12-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Of course everybody and their mother has seen this ad. But I think this piece of television genius makes me want to study advertising more than anything else. It single-handedly made me enjoy that e-40 song, which I had previously brushed off cause it was 'hyphy'.

if there ever was a reason to believe in god...

2006-12-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

Man, I really wish I didn't have to be cracked out on Adderall studying for tests, because I totally missed what was possibly the best television program of the year. There is some consolation for those who missed this hot-ness extravaganza like me, the Victoria's Secret website has an ultra HQ version up on their site. It's edited, but just play it on repeat. Over and over and over and over and over and over.
(http://www2.victoriassecret.com/fashionshow/index.cfm)

I know it's obvious and all, but these girls make every other human being look like pieces of shit. (This is excusing the bald-headed African of course.) I don't know why female celebrities would want to go to these shows because they can't help but make themselves look horrible.

Want to make your head explode? Try ranking them. Besides Adriana at numero uno of course. That's a given.

And speaking of god: apparently Jesus never committed a sin. It might not have been that hard in those days. For one, they didn't have women hot enough to make you want to kill yourself. And two, they were all made to wear shitty rags and cover themselves up and all that retarded ideology. Like Jesus could have really resisted himself from unleashing his divine power all up in Gisele's holy trinity.

the Queen.

wooohoooo.

2006-12-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I'm late, but that KT Tunstall has some pretty good songs. Must be to get FOUR (count 'em) features on Grey's Anatomy. Anyways, I figure that must be the only way for artists nowadays to sell records. I mean, look at all those crazy ass shenanigans Jay-Z pulled and he only sold like 650k out the gate. And he's expected to drop significantly the second week, so he'll probably top out at around 1.5m.

KT Tunstall here on ther other hand has sold about a million of her debut. And I had barely heard of her. Little do I know, pretty much the only audience worth pandering to is the Grey's Anatomy one. Maybe the Jiggaman should start looking in that direction. Oh wait...

the undisputed.

2006-12-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

See for yourself (Google search for Worst Band In The World)

I do feel that Nickelback and Limp Bizkit could definitely give them a run for their money. Remember when Scott Stapp challenged Fred Durst to a boxing match?

If there's lyrics written worse than that emo bullshit where it goes 'i really really really dont like you', I'd love to know. That chorus completely sums up the genre and makes an extremely convincing argument that emo music is ruining the next generation of suburban kids for life.

konichiwa, bitches.

2006-11-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

What a stud. The pump fake gets them again.

Without a doubt, VY is most definitely

-VY's beastly performance also leads to one thing...

COWBOYS NUMERO UNO, BITCHES. YESSIR.

-I don't understand the big deal about Mike Vick flipping off Falcons fans. It's not his fault when the entire Falcons recieving corps dug deep within themselves to come up with TWO total catches and a big 52 yards. They dropped more than double the passes they caught for gain. And then old white guys bitch about Vick running and not throwing it well enough. People can boo him when he actually fucks up. And there's plenty of opportunities for that.

gem stones, flint stone, you could say i'm friends with fred.

2006-11-24T03:15:00.000-08:00

Only Cam'ron is narcissistic enough to convince himself that he'd look good in a pink Russian fur hat.

Plus, the best music video interlude EVAR?! at 1:52

-also, how 'bout them Cowboys? t-Ro is gunslinger extraordinaire. now if only TO can hold onto the damn ball...

2006-11-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

Kramer goes on a tirade against niggers.

Crack is a hell of a drug.

the truth.

2006-11-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

tony romo is the future. 82% completion, what?

it is what it is.

2006-11-16T12:03:00.000-08:00

gulliest headgear ever?

ching chang chong.

2006-11-14T14:59:00.000-08:00

I recently read up on how Ivy League schools are now trying to cockblock chinaman from their schools by using higher admissions standards. Kinda like what they do to white folks, except even worse. And now, even crackers get a break from the onslaught of the slant-eyes.

Cracka-ass crackers everywhere have bitched and moaned about having less qualified african-americans (or in some circles, niggers) take their spots, jobs and all else due to affirmative action. I, for one, have always felt that whites should shut the fuck up. Being white is still the number one advantage you have in this country, and most parts of the world.

So for white folks to even think about complaining is ridiculous because if it's really so bad, wanna trade?

Didn't think so.

It seems that chinaman are getting shafted here. They don't get the easy slide of affirmative action like jigs do. They also don't get the power that derives from an inherently racist system and society like crackers do. So it's pretty much a lose-lose for the chanks.

Man, those white folks are some devious motherfuckers. But come on, who really thought those crusty crackers at the top of the ladder were going to let any other shades in the loop? Even if they did get there based on merit and by the rules, the rules will change. Those guys definitely do not want their pool muddied. Why do you think out of all the chinaman that work as engineers at TI making calculators and such, every single person on the board of directors is white than snow*?

That being said, it's still better than being a beaner. Boy, do they have it rough.

Check it: Is Admissions Higher for Asians at Elite Schools? (link to transcript of Wall Street Journal article, cause those jews make you pay)

also: New Challenge to Affirmative Action (Inside Higher Ed)

*there is one jig lady on there, but I think it's to look good. White people already feel really good about themselves whenever they can name off more than one of the colored as their friend, so this pretty much makes up for slavery.

insights.

2006-11-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

Responsible for the best marketing move in music this year.

One of my favorite things to laugh at is adult contemporary music. You know what I'm talking about, the songs that play on the 'Mix' stations. Those stations kick ass, they'll play some gangsta ass shit like Hey Jealousy right after they play Semi-Charmed Life.

Seriously, that is a killer back to back combo. It's like the 90s never left.

Anyways, since these stations only add like 2 songs a year to their repertoire and pretty much never take a song off, it's the ultimate place a musician would want their song to go since the royalties are basically endless. Well, kind of. If money > artistic merit, then yeah. But seriously, whoever says no amount of money can buy their dignity hasn't been offered enough.

Artists who have been anointed into such a tightly controlled circle include musical masters such as the aforementioned Gin Blossoms and Third Eye Blind, as well as Maroon 5, Matchbox 20 and Rob Thomas, Natasha Bedingfield, Wham!, that guy who sings the 'Bad Day' song. Top notch group, I know.

The most recent addition is The Fray. When I first heard that song about overtime and some chick is in his head, I chuckled to myself in the car. Not because I'm too cool, but because I do have an affinity for future adult contemporary hits and this one was destined for soccer moms everywhere to sing along 6 months after the video was retired from TRL. As much as I laugh and make fun of music like this, I do have a good amount of respect for people that can bang out a couple of tunes that can get stuck in millions of people's heads and get paid for it. A good melody is a good melody, no matter how cliche and coated in reverb it is. After all, my favorite band is Oasis.

Which brings me to 'How To Save A Life', the second single from The Fray. This song sounds pretty much like the first single. I thought it was the same song until I waited for the overly drastic enunciation of the '8 sehkuuuuunds in ooooooooverteeeeiiiime' part and it never came. I brushed it off to the side and didn't pay much attetion to it until I caught the video on ABC. I was like huh? And then it became clear: it's a Grey's Anatomy tie in! Now it makes sense. Jesus Christ that was a smart move. I mean, get it? Sometimes girls will like totally want to bang a married man. You know, cause they're sluts. And they'll hype it all up and be like 'he's not happy in his relationship, I'll bring him out of it.' I'm going to save his life! So that fits in with the show's premise. But it doesn't stop there. They're also doctors! How fitting! Like OMG, it's like a double entendre or something.

I mean, what other way is this band truly going to get some money off a record about a crack addiction with the music industry in the shithole and a ginger for a lead singer? The only way possible is to play it up so that girls across the nation will think it's about them, via the tried and true medium of a shitty, sappy TV drama about self-important asshole doctors. I commend The Fray wholeheartedly for working that shit to its max potential. Street cred don't pay the bills. Plus in all honesty, it's a very well developed pop song and they seem to be able to play live very well, which is more than I can say for most mainstream music.

Read: 'Adult Contemporary Radio, Where Pop Hits Live Strong' (MTVnews)

But for real, I hate Grey's Anatomy.

half/half.

2006-11-10T02:31:00.000-08:00

Talk about a pedigree: Daughter of Quincy Jones. Harvard graduate. Actress on the best show on network TV. And she's like really pretty.

Watch every episode of The Office here

nobody wins, one side just loses more slowly.

2006-11-09T01:04:00.000-08:00

Two big things happened this week. The Democrats took over the House and Senate. Along with this major change in American politics, Donald Rumsfeld also got cut loose. Evil motherfucker that he is, I feel that's a pretty easy slide. He gets to fuck things up, then leave. Whoopdeedoo.

A lot of people are getting huge boners from this change in power. I'm not one of them. Politicians are politicians, the way the system is set up, they will still manipulate everything within their power to make themselves look good for the next election. (btw, if all they ever worry about is the next election, where do they find the time to do actual work for the people?) If it was up to these fucks, they would be responsible for every time you score above your league, every time you have perfect change, every time your professor cancels class. And they will deny until they die that they were the ones that didn't put up a fight to prevent the Iraq war from happening, that they were the ones chickenshit scared to go against Bush, that they were the ones that didn't do their fucking job.

Plus, I don't trust that Nancy Pelosi broad. I mean, she is a woman. And we all know bitches are crazy.

Aside from my politics rant, another major breakthrough happened: K-Fed got dumped. And it's on camera. Check it:

Hahahahahaha. I don't know who deserves some shit like that more, K-Fed or Rumsfeld.

the GOAT

2006-10-31T23:05:00.000-08:00

Greatest commentator of all time?

There was a great bit in tonight's NBA on TNT (best sportscast show, bar none) where they listed the records of the hosts' post-championship season openers. Magic came up on top 4-1, Kenny was 2-0, and good ol' Chuck got a N/A. Hahahahahahaha. That's gold. It just further proves my case that Charles Barkley should be on every media venue possible. He should do color commentary for every sports broadcast, but that's a given. But let's not stop at sports. We could use Chuck's educated opinion on pretty much everything. Chuck as a judge on Project Runway? Sheeeeeiiiiiiit, that's good TV. Special correspondent for the Daily Show? The possibilites truly are endless.

And I think Chuck is running for governor in Alabama too. Please vote him in.

Oh yea, the Heat had to bite the curb tonight. 30 points in the first half? 66 for the game? I thought they were the fucking champs.

Lakers over the big, bad Suns too. Without the best scorer in the league. Yessir.

Mavs over Spurs by 12 on thursday.

+44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating album review.

2006-10-29T23:10:00.000-08:00

My first favorite band ever, Blink 182 split up this year due to some beef between Mark and Tom. Probably cause Tom turned into what seems to be a complete douche bag. It's quite sad, really, cause they were one of the bands that seemed like they had the most fun doing what they did. That was always one of the biggest appeals of the band, the humor and the genuine interest in looking on the bright side and appreciating the fact that they get to be rock stars for a living. Anyways, here's Mark and Travis's new project, +44.

Lycanthrope

Continues in the same vein as the last Blink album, but not as experimental, for whatever thats worth. Straightforward pop rock. Really, if it wasn't for Mark's voice this could be any other band. Not particularly impressive, but not bad either.

Baby, Come On

Starts off with some computer drums and cut up 'whoosh' sounds. Kind of like the beginning of those Linkin Park songs. The chorus is catchy enough, but not really one to stick with you. He seems to still be writing about chicks even though hes like 34 and married.

When Your Heart Stops Beating

The first single. It's always important that the lead off batter is hits enough to get on base. This is the best song so far. Good melodies. Travis's drumming on the chorus is particularly awesome, the hi-hat sixteenths are a nice touch.

Little Death

Acoustic guitars are in this. Not that great of an idea especially cause the verses just sound stupid. The verse melodies go sour at the end of each couplet where it goes up for one note.

155

Probably going for some 80s Cure sounds. I like this one, the synths work well with the vocals. I still expect Tom to come in at any moment.

Lillian

Ehh.

Cliff Diving

All these songs sound the same. You could say the same about Blink, but those have nostalgic value and are better songs anyways. Mark is now just the 'old man in the club'.

Interlude

Not nearly as good as the one on the last Blink album. that thing was moody and dark. This just sounds like a 16 year old who just got his first copy of Frooty Loops.

Weatherman

Might be referring to the Nicholas Cage movie which wasn't very funny, except for the montage where he got pegged with fast food. I imagine throwing a chili dog at somebody's face must be a pretty satisfying action.

No It Isn't

This is the one about Blink. It's not bad, but still sounds like a 15 year old wrote it thanks to the endless use of cliche lines. You'd think something so monumental ending would inspire better lyrics. Otherwise, stronger effort than the last 3 tracks or so.

Make You Smile

Has a chick on it, I think that's what the original plan was, but she got knocked up or something like that so she quit. This isn't bad, more programmed drums in the verses and live in the chorus. The chick's voice is a nice change of pace from a whole album of Mark.

Chapter XII

This was a good weekend for football, no? Horns come back from 21, the 'Boys come back from 14. Solid effort by both, especially dual-threat Tony 'T-Ro' Romo (courtesy of Eric). The season isn't looking as bleak as I thought. The O-line did their job, kept Peppers limited. Most importantly Jason Witten got freed up from blocking duty for the Statue of Liberty and made some huge catches. Oh, and this song sounds like every other one.

Conclusion

Gone are the days of happy-go-lucky Blink. Which is to be expected, I guess, given how they're not named Blink 182 anymore. The fun songs are missing, these guys take themselves too seriously now. Obviously that was the problem that broke them up. They forgot they were just a bunch of dudes that lucked onto being rock stars. This album gets a 2/10 on the bbbbbaaaallllllliiiiiiiinnnn' meter.

random points.

2006-10-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

fact: stephen colbert is the balls. reason why

-if there's a stronger case for legal abortions, please enlighten me. (via sterogum)

-the world's most comprehensive source on the Mighty Ducks (link)

-mtvU is pretty awesome. im actually sort of discovering new music. i've seen every video they have on current rotation. all the bases are covered, and going from regina spektor to lil wayne is exactly how my playlist works out.

-new clipse out 11/28. please let the crackers at jive play fair.

king amongst kings.

2006-10-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

Yet another example of why Noel Gallagher is the most balla-ass balla ever. The Chief teams up with North England paper company middle management extraordinaire David Brent to release this double A-side (along with If You Don't Know Me By Now). Everything about this song is great. From the rawkin' power chords to the gay lyric situation in the bridge. Not to mention it sounds like a Boston song, which we all know would kick ass no matter the situation. There was really only one way for this song to end up: bbbbbbaaaaaaaalllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnn'!

For the sensitive souls, here's some more acoustic life lessons courtesy of David Brent:

bbbbaaaaallllllllliiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!

2006-10-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

the most ballin' shoe evar?

check the stats: 1 of 1 in the entire world made for cool-guy guru Hiroshi Fujiwara, 100% real crocodile skin, Coach leather lining, 24k gold lace tips.

in honor of such ballin' activity, Jim Jones - We Fly High rmx (ft Diddy, Baby, T.I., Young Dro).mp3

get a grip on yourself, it dont cost much.

2006-10-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

oasis b-sides > 99% of most band's entire catalog. please believe.

critics, hipsters, and indie fags love to bash the gallaghers because they sound derivative and like to think they're the shit. but what many of these filthy douche bags fail to realize is that music that feature thin production, random instruments, no singable melody, and 'experimental' ideas don't lift you up when you feel down. they can't be sung with your buddies at the top of your voices to top off a solid night of knocking back beers.

and as for derivative, that much is true, but it's not like they attempt and fail, is it? in fact, they fucking nail it as hard as you can possibly can. i also don't think anyone can fault the source of inspiration either. the beatles? the stones? better than seeing someone 20 years from now trying to re-create laffy taffy.

why do people complain when rock stars act like rock stars? they're not your friends. they're entertainers. of course they're arrogant and cocky, apologetic celebrities are boring. i personally hope they choke on their slice of humble pie.

speaking of pie, i could go for some country pot pie right now. magic wok will have to do.

let's get it.

2006-10-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

this 'stache is, in fact, the killers' best work yet.

and in other realms of popular music: the Snowman returns!
Young Jeezy - I Love It.mp3
yes, you are correct, it is What You Know faster. but how can a faster version of the best song of the year be anything but awesome?

Pitchfork's review of the new Jet album gave me a chuckle.

more money, more problems.

2006-09-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

First off: WTF?!

I'm going to back off my usual staunch stance for suicide attemptees to really follow through and die. I often times say I wish those people would just do it because 99% of the time they're just pussying out and looking for attention. So under normal circumstances they should just man up and do the damn thing. The planet's over crowded, it wouldn't hurt if the people who wanted to die actually did.

But then again, those people don't play for the Cowboys.

And they damn sure aren't the best wideout in the league like T.O. is. And they damn sure didn't get a 40 million dollar deal to run around on a field and catch a ball.

2006-09-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

'Here's a great idea for a hot look this season: Be the most attractive woman in the world.' - a Vice Do

One question: how the hell are there fags in this world with girls that look like this?

2006-09-25T00:09:00.000-07:00

hahahaha. just look at that thing. hahahahaha. go watch jackass 2.

easy takes it.

2006-09-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

this broad > cassie. shes more talented. obviously.

cool as a Phantom.

2006-09-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

Greatest commercial ever?

i know its wrong, but i know your type

2006-09-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

real recognize real.

some tracks off the new album stripped bare. despite this being how the songs were originally written, they still sound better with the full arrangements.

the format - if work permits (acoustic).mp3
the format - matches (acoustic).mp3
the format - she doesn't get it (acoustic).mp3
the format - the compromise (acoustic).mp3
the format - pick me up (acoustic).mp3

chuckle.

2006-09-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

(more here)

sidenote: T.O. will be back in time for the Eagles, keeping it my most anticipated game of the year. And I will take a Mike Vick over a Reggie Bush, period.

random points.

2006-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

hahahahahahahahahaha. 9/22.

-im having a hard time deciding, but cassie might be the hottest broad in top 40 right now. maybe its cause i have a thing for those mixed, melting-pot types. tiger woods style. no homo. releasing a first single about protein shakes doesn't hurt either.

-everybody knows already, but lonelygirl15 isn't real. not much of a surprise, but apparently theyre not selling anything. just a couple mid-20s types trying to get noticed. as for the girl, she's still pretty, but she won't be sacrificed on an altar. so win-win?

-you should watch the wire. every season is amazing. the intensity and storytelling is unparalleled. s04e01 pt 1, pt 2.

-dane cook is not funny. he can not write a joke to save his life. he just yells a lot and makes stupid gestures. meathead 'bros' think hes the funniest thing since the last football game, where they berate the kids they drunkenly fall on as 'faggots'.

lamb to the slaughters.

2006-09-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

best drama on television. bar none.

on a completely unrelated note:
The Blow - True Affection.mp3
The Killers - When You Were Young (Thin White Duke rmx).mp3

2006-09-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

Rock n Roll Star
Some Might Say
Talk Tonight
Lyla
The Importance of Being Idle
Wonderwall
Slide Away
Cigarettes & Alcohol
The Masterplan
Live Forever
Acquiesce
Supersonic
Half The World Away
Go Let It Out
Songbird
Morning Glory
Champagne Supernova
Don't Look Back In Anger

my exceptions: ill take a Don't Go Away and Stand By Me over a Go Let It Out and Lyla any day.

and we'll fight like hell to hide that we're giving up.

2006-09-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

I did not even notice that today is the 5th anniversary of 9/11 until I saw it on some headlines. In fact, nothing out of the ordinary has changed for me since a couple dirty looking towel heads hijacked some planes and flew them into two buildings, killing thousands of white people in the process. Nothing at all.

So does that mean we've won?

rock on.

2006-09-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

2006-09-06T01:10:00.000-07:00

Clipse - Re-up Anthem (Nick Catchdubs remix).mp3
The Jane Does - Junkie.mp3
The Sammies - Falling Out.mp3
The Pipettes - It Hurts To See You Dance So Well.mp3
Cam'ron - Love My Life.mp3
Blur - Charmless Man.mp3
Jay-Z - Friend or Foe.mp3
Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. II.mp3
We Are Scientists - Worth The Wait.mp3
PlayRadioPlay - Compliment Each Other.mp3

too tired to comment, but all pretty good tracks. some classics, some new shit.

bridging the gap.

2006-09-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

the 90s arent as smooth a transition as the 95s. but both are pretty sweet, if for nothing but to just see a live product.

R.I.P.

2006-09-04T01:52:00.000-07:00

Time to pour out a little liquor for The Crocodile Hunter. It's pretty fucked up that he's dead, but at least he went out in style.

Here's to you, Steve Irwin, for slapping poisonous snakes in the face for the education and entertainment of the masses. You will be missed.

diamonds on my neck.

2006-08-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

Talk about bling blaow...

The most obscene piece of jewelry ever? And to think I helped pay for that monstrosity.

big pimpin'.

2006-08-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

Mando Diao - The Wildfire (If It Was True).mp3

"There's something in the way she said 'I hate you cause you breathe'". That's already a fantastic line in and of itself, but when matched with perfect eh-who-gives-a-fuck attitude and jangly guitars and a soaring major key chorus with horns, its all that and a bag of chips. In fact, the first half of the record that I listened to is solid all around.

Justin Timberlake ft. T.I. - My Love.mp3

I think this is Timberlake's second single off of FutureSex/LoveSounds, possibly the worst title ever slapped onto an album. This track is all over the place: lots of bubbly synths, Timbaland's signature bouncy drums, and layered underneath it all is Timberlake's beatboxing. It's not great, but I wouldn't turn it off if it came on the radio as it is much more interesting to listen to than anything else these days. JT does his schtick as pop star extraordinaire, singing horribly cliche lyrics with flair. All that is fine and dandy until the King comes and completely wrecks shop. The flow is magnificient, catching the cadence of the synths and wrapping every syllable perfectly around the beat. Like Ludacris in 'Yeah', the song is good and all, but its the guest verse that steals the show.

Of Montreal - The Party's Crashing Us (I Am the World Trade Center mix).mp3

I've never heard the orginial song although I am pretty sure Jesse '13 year old girl' Smith sent me the album. Whatever, because this remix is pretty awesome. The only part that bugs me is the guy who mixed it calls himself I Am the World Trade Center. What kind of shitty hipster name is that?

and the truth shall set you free.

2006-08-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

via Overheard in NY, definitely one of the funniest sites around.

To be honest, I'm not sure those exist anymore.

TMNTxYoung Jeezy

2006-08-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

bubble yum.

2006-08-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

Messy.

break ya neck.

2006-08-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

Your eyes are not decieving you, those are indeed Reebok Pumps remixed by Alife made completely out of tennis ball material.

And on a completely unrelated note, I hate people that talk about their dogs nonstop like its special in any form or fashion. Unless you're the owner of that dog that shoots like a kajillion free throws in a row, then fall back on the dog talk. It's just fucking rude. Word to David Cross.

senorita.

2006-08-10T15:56:00.000-07:00

more here

Nobody even comes close. suuuuuuuuriously.

G's up, ho's down.

2006-08-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

I'm willing to bet Snoop Dogg had no idea he was going to change the world. He was probably just smoking a blunt, downing some 40s with his homeboys and whatnots in the shitty part of town when he was like, 'yo cuz, you know what? fuck them bitches, nigga. G's up, ho's down. for life.' Fast forward a decade or so and its now one of the most prevalent ideas among males.

Now, I'm not saying the idea of male empowerment hasn't been around. But in this day and age of Paris Hiltons, feminists and other generally dumb teenage girls who actually want to be the 4 over-the-hill single bitches in Sex and te City, I think all men have to toast Mr. D-O-double-G for coming up with a singular phrase that defines that mentality, and gives us all something to believe in.

Before you label me a sexist or woman hater and so forth, check out a pretty much fool-proof test on women:

a girl will think something is cute because a) it is proportionally smaller than usual, and/or b) something tries to imitate an adult action but fails miserably.

bonus points if its shiny.

Props to Mr. O'Bannon for the moment of genius.

Also: read up on A Man's Right To Choose (via Bol)

To cap things off, here is a great video by the Arctic Monkeys detailing an excellent example of why the world would be a much better place if it was indeed G's up, and ho's down.

posted up.

2006-08-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

the only good set from the vice photo issue.
(more here)

well, this one too, but it makes me feel dirty inside.

heat redemption.

2006-08-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

lady in the street.

freak in the bed.

To redeem myself from the shit sandwich below

coasting.

2006-07-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

I'm going to venture out into the dangerous land of self indulgence and introspection for a second, so bear with me.

I've been awash in a sea of mediocrity for the longest time. Never great, never bad, never cared. It has always kind of bothered me, cause it's fucking boring. Not to mention I don't particularly like run of the mill things. Either kick ass or suck ass, middle ground breeds apathy. The sad fact is that most people are run of the mill. Maybe it's time to accept that fact and deal with it. Maybe it's time to get off my ass and 'reach my potential'. Both choices sound like shit. One sounds like settling and the other sounds like an infomercial for a 36 tape pack of motivational bullshit.

All successful people are driven, that's the uniting factor. Nobody successful lucked on to it completely. I just want to know how the hell people stay motivated at something. They must make up some fantastic bullshit about how hard work means they'll end up with puppies and white picket fences. And they must believe that is what will make them happy. And they have to believe that nonsense for their whole lives. That just seems delusional. Maybe that's the key to being successful in this world. You lie to yourself so much, that you start believing it.

Fuck everything I just wrote, I pretty much know what I want. Lots and lots of money. Like ridiculous amounts. God, being one of those old money blue blood rich asshole wasps must kick so much ass. You might have to wear yellow shorts with lobsters on it or something gay like that, but I'm willing to let that slide.

What a horrible post.

the second coming.

2006-07-19T23:36:00.000-07:00

Most anticipated movie of 2006?

I'm willing to bet it'll at least be the best.

sexyback.

2006-07-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a woman who has had two kids.

note: Dog Problems isn't actually that bad. I guess I kind of like showtunes. No homo.

The Format - Dog Problems album review.

2006-07-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

During this period of horrible music, I can safely say this is one of the very few albums I had been looking forward to. I thoroughly enjoyed Interventions & Lullabies, it was a very impressive piece of pop music. It was heavy on hooks, melodies and harmonies that stayed on repeat way after most songs should, yet it didn't feel unwelcomed at all. Not to mention I discovered it at the right time, where I could relate to the lyrics and themes presented. As I have said over and over again, that is not the case nowadays. However, because my days are so void of activity, I'll give this a spin.

Matches

I spot a banjo, harpsichord, piano, bells and snare rolls. I guess this is supposed to sound like a symphonic band or some shit. Not half bad, but I can't imagine myself singing along.

I'm Actual

This is in 6/8. I hate 6/8. This isn't very good, it's got some strings. Pretty hokey arrangement. No wonder their label dropped them. I'd be pissed off if I was supposed to somehow market this to 16 year olds.

Time Bomb

Halfway decent verses, closer to something on Interventions & Lullabies. Extremely mediocre chorus. I'm not a big fan of the bridge where Nate the singer starts yelping. I don't know what the fuck he is saying, but I do know he sounds like a bitch. Also not a fan of the 'are you worth it' part where he drags the melody way up there.

She Doesn't Get It

This is better, some synth, handclaps, doo doo doos, just straightforward pop. Can't say this will be memorable in any way though. Still better than everything that preceded it.

Pick Me Up

I guess the earlier tracks were a weedout process, because this is better than the last song. If this is the case, the last track must be almost half as good as Hey Jealousy (word to the Gin Blossoms).

Dog Problems

This sounds like a showtune. Why the fuck would you try to sound like a showtune. Swingtime piano with horns. I can't imagine myself repeating this one.

Oceans

Picks back up again from that last stupid attempt at 'expanding our musical horizons'. Pop tunes like this are what The Format excell at, although this song might be a little too sweet. The replay value is lowered because of that. It's like that Natasha Bedingfield song, it was awesome the first 50 times I heard it, but now I can't stand it anymore.

Dead End

Not paying attention.

Snails

Missed this too.

The Compromise

This is what the whole album should sound like. Word to everything this song kicks ass. The guitars, the vocals, everything. Nothing fancy, just good pop rock.

Inches and Failing

Did you guys know I sent a kid to a psychiatrist last year?

If Work Permits

Might be good, I donno.

Overall: 5/10?

Definitely not worth the 15 bucks I dropped on this, especially when Interventions and Lullabies is only 10 at Best Buy. Although I didn't pay nearly enough attention to it to really review it. Maybe I'll dig it up after I get all teh ghey over a chick again some time in the future. Probably not.

Q: you know how i know that you're gay?

2006-07-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

A: you like coldplay.

word.

eternal summer slacking.

2006-06-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy.mp3

Talk about gangsta shit of catastrophic proportions. This is that good stuff right here. At first it might not seem like anything special, but that semi-awkward melody in the chorus will get stuck in your head and will not leave. It's semi-awkward cause it's actually pretty hard to sing, especially the third 'hey jealous-yyyy', when you're walking around town humming it to yourself you'll realize that you are pretty much tone deaf and devoid of any god given musical capabilities. True story.

The topic matter is pretty straightforward, I think about a quarter of songs written are about how person A fucked up a relationship with person B. And since they're 1) white folks, and 2) not Dipset, they take the rather sentimental route and ponder 'what if?' for 3 and a half minutes. No matter, this is not sappy in any way. It is more of an acknowledgement to what was and what could have been if not for those wonderful instances of self-destructive behavior. And really, who can't relate to that?

11/10

T.I. - 99 Problems (Lil' Flip diss).mp3

I don't even know why the King wastes his breath on leprechaun rejects like Flip. I guess Tip just needs something to do in his free time. Flowing hard and smooth over Rick Rubin's 808 drums, T.I. does not let up on the Clover G, threatening and having a general ball kicking down the holes in his opponent's street credibility. 'Lyrically I'll murk you/physically I'll hurt you/you ain't never ran the streets/you had a curfew'. True as with all diss tracks, the shit talking at the end is undoubtedly better than the actual song. The shock in Tip's voice when he speaks on Flip's 'audacity' to mention his name is straight up fucking hilarious. 'Fuckboy' Flip needs to just let it go, the throne is taken, the King is crowned.

7/10

Lily Allen - Little Things.mp3

(Not to be confused with the horrible Good Charlotte song of the same name.)

This chick is going/went through the whole internet blog hype machine which basically swagger jacks NME's whole 'lift them up, then tear them down' schtick and speeds it up so it happens all within a week. Regardless of what everybody thinks, this song is not bad, especially if you're a chick. Lily Allen is a rapper/singer/musician from the UK and she tells some good stories over sappy samples and drum machines. Lyrically this is the female rendition of Hey Jealousy. Same topic matter, done totally differently of course. It's much more personal as rap allows for much more detail to be said into each couplet and verse. Generally this kind of stuff sucks, as the whole reminiscing vibe is not my steez, but this song is ok for the first 3 listens or so. Then it just starts getting annoying. Maybe it's just cause I don't have a vag.

4/10

the motherland.

2006-06-16T01:09:00.000-07:00

word to everything.

2006-06-05T23:38:00.000-07:00

all day, everyday.

jesus might say 'jesus christ!'

2006-05-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

can't touch this.

2006-05-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

Fishin' buddies no more. Much to me and big lo's dismay, I do not get cable here in hong kong so i have not been watching any mavs ball.

I purchased what is possibly one of the greatest t-shirts of all time yesterday. The problem is that I had to lay down 40 bucks for it, even though asian people have no idea whatsoever why the Hammer shirt is awesome. This includes my mom who gave me dirty looks for spending 40 bucks on a stupid t-shirt. Good thing her opinion regarding these things mean absolutely nothing. Next on the list: shiny leather sneakers and a nigger smurf.

word to everything.

certified gangster.

2006-05-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Good emerges triumphant over evil. Now what you know about that?

can't leave rap alone, the game needs me.

2006-05-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hov x Phish?!

A true testament to the Jigga man's greatness. Whiteboy stoners worldwide, throw your diamonds up.

music video review.

2006-05-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

random new music videos go under my intense and rigorous quality control test.
all my findings are scientifically discovered and are not to be questioned under any circumstances.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous

Yep, she's hot. The song itself is not bad, Timbaland comes with a nice beat. I like the synths around the chorus, it turns it into a semi new wave thing. Swagger jackin' from Depeche Mode is ok by me if you have Ms. Furtado dancing around singing about hooking up.

9/10

Taking Back Sunday - MakeDameSure

No. The Foo Fighters, a much better band, has already done this video (compare them yourself). There's seriously nothing original about this band. Random clips of nature thrown in with the singer swinging a mic around wearing spandex netting on his hands is not cool. And please give the backup singer guy a mic so he doesn't look retarded yelling into air. I know it's a video and they're not really singing anyways, but still.

0/10

the evolution of a pimp.

2006-05-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

"It's been a first round of surprises and so I go with my biggest individual surprise: Luke Walton. He probably wouldn't start for any coach in the league besides Phil Jackson, but he's as important to what the Lakers are doing to control the tempo against Phoenix as Kobe or Lamar Odom. And he tied up Steve Nash in the most controversial play of the playoffs so far, setting up the wildest of numerous wild finishes. Luke is the poster boy for this script-shredding Round 1."

- Marc Stein (via ESPN)

The Beastmaster finally gets his props. Word.

sugar, water and of course, purple.

2006-05-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

here's a slice of gullyness from the golden age of music:

the urge - too much stereo.mp3

Big Lo accused them of "trying to turn that Barenaked Ladies song into an entire style of music." That's as accurate as anything I can come up with. It's also 500 times better than anything out right now. (again, save for that Natasha Bedingfield song).

compare and contrast:

barenaked ladies - one week.mp3

PS - is it me or is Raja Bell a bitch? I'm all for hard fouls but you can't just clothesline somebody. I guess it's that special brand of defense that only comes from south of the border. i think thats where hes from anyways. Raja? gotta be.

flyer than a motherfuckin' pelican.

2006-05-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

Just look at Dirk son the hell out of that ginger. Big Lo predicts Mavs over Pistons in 5. And from the looks of it, he could be right. I don't see any other team sweeping anybody in the first round. Not the Spurs. Not the Pistons. To be honest, none of them want it with that German athletic freak. They don't want to see Dirk unleash his best Sam Cassell impression after draining fadeaway 3 after fadeaway 3. Without squaring his shoulders, no less!

Despite having the best playoff record so far this year, and having the number one all around performer post-season, the Mavs are still largely ignored and overlooked. I'm loving the Lakers right now, but even MVP don't want it with us.

Elsewhere:
It looks like LA vs. LA for the semi finals. That should be one hell of a show. Home court advantage every game. Can somebody explain to me why LA has 2 basketball teams anyways?

One last thing - Behold: the Beastmaster's uniform. Just $175 for a slice of greatness? I've never found a better bargain. (via Team LA)

heartbreaker.

2006-05-01T02:44:00.000-07:00

The footage speaks for itself.

The best part? It's nothin' to him.

"Once I got the ball, I just took my time and got the look I wanted. I have taken that shot over and over and over again. It felt routine to me. " (via SI.com)

Premiere heartbreaker in the NBA.
_________________________________________________________

Not to mention, the Spurs get a beat down more painful than listening to Ron Artest's album. Great day indeed.

mean muggin.

2006-04-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

this is definitely the gulliest NBA playoffs i have ever seen. the entire weekend has been amazing for basketball. the Mavs letting it almost slip away before waking up and regaining their dignity by keep the Grizzlies' playoff losing streak alive.

Dirk mean mugged his way out of embarrassment by taking a huge shit on the city of Memphis with his game-tying 3.

Giving Dirk a run for gulliest-white-boy is none other than the Beastmaster himself: Luke Walton. With the entire Lakers team stepping their game up, Luke Walton has exceeded all expectations. Especially with the last play, getting a jump ball against Nash, and tipping it directly to the real MVP for the game winning buzzer, Luke Walton tames the untamable. Stud.

hey ma.

2006-04-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Did anybody else know that Nelly Furtado is this hot? All I remember is that she had that annoying song about how she was like a pigeon or peacock or something. (no homo.)

I do know that Natasha Bedingfield song is pretty much perfect. (definitely better than the Taking Back Sunday album.) And apparently Ms. Bedingfield has been swagger jacking Nelly Furtado's steez as female pop songwriter extraordinaire.

I say they should just make out. A DVD of that bundled with each album will fly off the shelves. Even ~~thieves~~ teenagers will pay for that.

hate it or love it.

2006-04-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

Kobe decided to express his feelings regarding the recent MVP decision by face fucking the Great White Hope.

bands today are worse off than they have ever been.

2006-04-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

this makes me feel old as fuck all, but it has to be said: bands today suck. especially compared to bands of the past. even more so when put up against the golden era of music*.

case in point: Cartel - Wonderwall.mp3

I feel guilty to even put this up, as i would be plenty happy if it were not made at all. But I needed to make my point and this proves it better than any. This band is slightly above average in what they do: pop-punk. Given that extremely limited scope of power chords and syncopated strumming patterns, they do all right. Their songs are catchy enough and I did like Luckie St. and Honestly. Like every other band in their genre, all their songs sound around the same with some particularly bad.

They also have the creativty potential of an aborted fetus. So when that singer dude tries to change things up on the cover of The Greatest Song Of All Time, it sounds like absolute shit.

Example 1: when he decides to put his own 'creative' spin on the melody on 'about you' in the pre-chorus.

Example 2: the entire second verse and pre-chorus he butchers. i think they call this nonsense 'putting your own spin' on something. that is complete and utter bullshit. this emo, girl-pant-wearing son of a bitch totally ruined an otherwise perfect song.

If Noel weren't too busy cashing royalty checks, he'd smack the fag. Oh yea: his voice. That voice more than anything ruined the song. Weak and quivering, he sounds like a chick. Liam Gallagher sounded like a man, giving the song exactly what it needed to rise above the sap.

I hope Cartel's tour bus runs off a cliff for this blasphemy.

*mid to late 90's

To save yourselves, here's how it should be, from the geniuses themselves:

i welcome you to get acquainted with the youngest in charge.

2006-04-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

I will admit it. I slept on Lebron James. Don't really know how, I Just wasn't into sports as a whole at the time. Wasn't up on anything sports related in general, all my NBA knowledge ended with the Jordan era. So I slept on this man. Actually, a man is an understatement. Dude is pure unadulterated athletic machine. No ego either, just confidence. The best part about his post-season debut today wasn't even the ridiculous triple-double. The shots and scoring don't hurt, but they were expected. The most impressive part of his game is how dude can make all those around him better. He involves them, gives them second chances, doesn't kick them to the curb like he can. I'm sure everyone knows, but once again: he's only 21. Twenty one. Dude was just legally allowed to drink. He's got so much more time to grow, I can't even imagine how much better he can get. Sky's the limit.

Welcome to the King James era.

Bonus: The Office's Michael Scott delivers an anecdote on the importance of education.

P.S. - Everybody is generally allotted one genius idea a day, give or take a couple. I got one: pay-per-view One on One competitions between the top in the game of basketball. Imagine Kobe taking Lebron one on one, first to 50 pts. There could be a whole bracket set up to determine the single best player when all that pesky passing shit is taken out. It'd allow these athletic beasts to indulge in their own narcissism. And despite my current level of amazement for Lebron, Kobe would take all. Don't argue with me on that one, not that it's even up for debate.

thoughts.

2006-04-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

-that Natasha Bedingfield song 'Unwritten' > the entire new Taking Back Sunday album.

-Kobe is MVP. Lakers over Suns in 6, my upset prediction for the playoffs.

-RIP DC++, now there's really no point to living on campus anymore.

-Camel Lights are not very good. Turkish Golds still the way to go.

-gambling for 9 hours till 7 in the morning is a good time.

-Vans Slip-ons are the best shoes in the world, especially the Marc Jacobs suede joints.

Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now album review

2006-04-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

I was barely aware of this CD's existence as I am past that horrible stage. I mean, why listen to this shit and be a 'sucker for love', as Cam would call it, when you can listen to Dipset and treat 'a bitch like a bitch' (again, my hats go off to Killa). But I digress, apparently kids still appreciate this stuff, and I will admit their last two albums came at the right time where I could actually connect to it. Hell, I know two kids who drove 3-4 hours to go see these guys live. Anyways, I will be reviewing this live, typing as I listen to these songs for the first time or so.

What It Feels Like To Be A Ghost

Second song by this band with the word 'ghost' in it. Pretty good opening riff. Sounds like everything else they have ever written. TBS is especially talented in turning run of the mill phrases like 'are you up for this?' into emo quotables by repeating them over and over and over and over and over and over. Look out for that one to be on AIM profiles everywhere pretty soon. Solid opening track.

Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

'Addict for dramatic'. I couldn't word it better. This dude is really obssessed with 26 days. Probably waiting for his AIDS test results to come back or something. (no homo.) Kinda sounds like the last song. Weird noises during the bridge, maybe its supposed to symbolize something, just sounds stupid.

MakeDamnSure

The new single. Since I'm in college and don't own a car nor a TV, I have no idea if this is doing well on radio. It again sounds like all their other songs. I don't know how they pick their singles. Probably just pick out of a hat or something. Decent enough, definitely not as good as the last lead off single nor Cut From The Team, but that's a classic.

Up Against (Blackout)

The song's in 6/8. I generally don't like 6/8 songs. The trend doesn't change much with this one. Filler, despite sounding again like the previous 3 songs.

My Blue Heaven

I'm sick of listening to this shit already. This one is again decent, starts off a little softer. The fat cholo that plays guitar uses 3 harmonic notes. How creative.

Twenty-Twenty Surgery

I could go for some General Tso's chicken right now. An eggroll too. (Magic Wok, what's really good?) And no, its not only cause I'm Chinese. Although that more than likely is part of the reason. I'm barely listening to this shit anymore.

Spin

I had a good discussion with Ricky, my giant ass friend at Mizzou, yesterday about how Japs are shit. People that want to argue about how the US was not justified in dropping the atom bomb on the Japs are most likely two things: 1) pussies and 2) jap/asian. I'd speak more on this but the song is over.

Divine Intervention

The acoustic song of the CD. They use bells on this. It's obviously a stretch for these guys to be this creative, so the melody is the exact same one they recycle on the other songs. You can't ask for too much.

Miami

Sad to say, this is not a cover of the Fresh Prince classic. That one is far superior. There is no need for this one to exist, I'm not sure why it does. Will Smith > Taking Back Sunday all day every day.

Error Operator

I didn't like this on the Fantastic Four soundtrack. I don't like it now. I hope I downloaded an unmixed copy or something, cause the drums sound like absolute shit on this. There's not even a real melody. At least the other ones were kind of catchy. I think this one is for the kids to run around in a circle and flail their arms around like Tom Delonge/retards.

I'll Let You Live

Finally it's over. The slower one, funny how that's the same place they stuck all the other slower ones on the other albums. This one really sucks. Shitty melody, shitty guitar riff. That fat cholo guy really can't play guitar. He had his shine on that Miami song.

Overall:

I'm so happy this CD is over, I can't stand this shit anymore. Granted, TBS did create the formula, but it is done to death. The whole tag-team vocals, phrase repetition, over dramatic performance is boring as hell to me. I probably would have liked this a year and a half ago. If you must listen to shit like this, go download Tell All Your Friends.

P.S. - Speaking of Tell All Your Friends, there's still kids out there on Purevolume that cover Cut From The Team acoustically, singing in whispered voices. You uncreative tools, the original fucking band already did that.

note - i realize i used the word 'shit' quite a bit in this review, even more than usual. i have a looming suspicion it has something to do with the quality of material i was reviewing.

it's ladies' night, all the girls drink for free.

2006-04-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

especially if they look like that.

Let's analyze exactly what this girl is wearing:

-Grandma sweater (cardigan for you hipsters)
-80's spandex leggings or some kind of aerobics nonsense
-Poor people shoes

Maybe chicks find this shit cute or whatnot. But the general rule is if a girl not at least an 8 out of 10, then there is no room for her to be getting creative with the wardrobe. Some of the crazy thoughts that go through some girls' minds include viewing clothes as an 'extension of my character and personality'. An 8+, however, can actually get away with trying to 'express her individuality' through her clothes. It completely flips when a girl is both hot and has a 'unique' sense of style. Wearing a lot of 'weird shit', as most guys call it, can actually bump an 8 into a 9. Rare situation, I know. It does happen though.

On the other end of the spectrum, there's fat chicks. I'll let Juelz handle that:

Juelz Santana - Drop A Couple Pounds.mp3

Juelz Santana - Fat Bitch.mp3

And to round things off, here's an acoustic version of a song so good, I had to swagger jack some lyrics for the post title. Beware, it is what some might deem 'sad bastard music'. I think it's what the kids are into nowadays anyways.

Brand New - Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis (107.7 End Session 11-17-03).mp3

bark twice if you're in milwaukee.

2006-04-14T12:35:00.000-07:00

Tom Delonge: you are not Bono.

First and foremost, RIP Blink-182. I guess this is what we're left with now. Tom Delonge, you used to be awesome. Now you've become a big tool who takes himself too seriously. You do realize you are skipping around on a big grass field waving your arms in the air like Julie Andrews. And for christ's sake (it is easter), keep the guitar around your shoulders even when you don't play it in the verses. Flailing your arms with the grace of a paraplegic is not a good look.

I do like the song. It's a nice catchy pop/rock song, a nice continuation of pretty much everything Tom Delonge has ever wrote and keeping in the vein of the last Blink album. Reading an MTV article on their first performance, pretty much all the songs sound like 'catchy emo tunes with big choruses'. Which leads me to wonder exactly how he is going to 'change the face of music', or 'usher in a new era'.

All in all, he does seem sincere with what he's doing. But I don't know if that makes it worse. Sincere or not, a D-bag is a D-bag.

50 on my pinky ring just to make my fist glow

2006-04-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

'What You Know' with a live band?! Damn, T.I. comes serious on this one. Rocking his best Baby Milo gear, and hiring Travis Barker to lace the beats no less.

Barker has definitely taken the throne of 'black people's favorite white boy' from previous title-holders such as Adam Levine, John Mayer, and the OG (of this generation anyways) himself, Justin Timberlake.

snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers.

2006-04-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

The good people of Washington D.C. gave VP Dick an opinion poll he can't spin at the Washington National's opening game. I don't know what gave them the balls though, cause dude will shoot you in the face (literally!) Or at least illegally invade your home and show you some shock and awe by jailing you without reason and hook your balls up to a car battery. Don't worry though, cause Jesus said its ok!

apparently black people believe in leprechans

2006-04-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

Don't you dare slap me with the race card either.

Limp Bizkit > Kanye West

2006-04-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

Kanye West - Mission: Impossible III theme

http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0PF7PBXUR43E21KJS8KHZOA7JT

Limp Bizkit - Mission: Impossible III theme (Instrumental)

http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=31ROWSLXXG9ZU25CJRCXPFTLPU

I'm not sure what to make of this, except that it is most definitely not as good as the Limp Bizkit version (instrumental, mind you). Big K seems to be slippin lately. I do like how crazy ass Tom 'Level 9' Cruise reaches out to Kanye to give his movie a more 'gritty, urban feel'. The Limp Bizkit version just grooves better, with the live drums and whatnots. Don't get it twisted, I am definitely talking about the instrumental, because as we all know, once Fred Durst attacks the mic with his raw rhymes, it all goes to shit. I do like the vibrato on the Kanye version. Not sure about the synthesized/over-processed strings that he uses for the main melody. And that weird ass distorted saxophone (?) in the last bridge/outro is not nearly as gully as you would think. Granted, this is significantly better than his original song for the movie. I'm not sure how that musical abortion fits within the context of Mission Impossible. Plus, it sounds like absolute shit anyways.

All in all, Limp Bizkit sans Fred Durst > Kanye West.
As far as classic movie theme 're-imaginings' at least.

Oh, here's the abortion if you really want to hear it.

Kanye West - Impossible (ft. Twista and Keyshia Cole)

http://s37.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1TSZL66DU4QLX15LRBFZ9KIWA9